Featured

Low Waste Living – Weekly Grocery Haul in Brooklyn, NY

Please keep in mind that this is not everything we eat. I made a list of filler foods which will be made with what we already have in our kitchen. Food can be expensive, I hope this is helpful to someone who might be discouraging because they may not fit into a specific demographic.

I want to recognize that a sustainable lifestyle is not about perfection, it is about attempting our best with anything we have access to. When there are so many social issues to be aware of, it’s simple to get frustrated. So if we can be realistic and know we’re doing the best we can wherever we’re, that’s the most essential thing. I encourage you to keep going, even if your grocery purchases do have a minor impact on waste.

There are so many other places in our lives that we can build. I want us to be willing to remain passionate about the activity instead of being worried about stuff outside of our control. I can’t, and that’s OK because I try just to be mindful of my impact on the plant.

Read more here: Reducing Waste: What You Can Do https://www.epa.gov/recycle/reducing-…

Let me know if you have any tips for a low-impact hack!

Featured

Living with A Dysmorphic Disorder – What’s Going On and How to Cope?

I want to discuss image dysmorphia.

I’m struggling with it.

My distorted image makes it hard for others to give me proper advice. No matter how many times someone tells me that I am not the way I see myself, I still see a different person in the mirror.

My “friend” in the mirror sees all of my flaws. She also hides my clear image. I literally can’t see my real self unless I give myself a side-eye. Then, my “friend” will quickly distort the picture before I can fully process what I just saw. It’s frustrating to know you can’t see yourself, but your own mind will not let you change your distortion.

Sometimes, I wonder if I can see any bit of the reality that others see. Sometimes, I wonder if they are wrong, and my truth is right. Sometimes, I just know I am right. Sometimes, I know I am wrong.

When I take photos of myself, I look at them in disgust. I see flaws in every part of my body and mind. This leads to thoughts of self-deprecation. When I question myself, my “friend” hisses to shut-up because I am the one that knows nothing. I am stupid. I sometimes ignore her, other times, I fight her, but most of the time, I cower away too afraid to lose another battle.

I can look in the mirror, and I can see many things that I hate about myself. My “friend” makes me believe that everyone can see what I see and hate me as much as I hate myself. I can unconsciously (thanks to my “friend”) seek out specific people who with 100% certainty will validate what she has been telling me. She can’t be wrong if other people believe it too. It is a cycle that is tricky to break.

No matter how much I protest or try to protect myself from her evil thoughts. She is there, waiting for me to be weak. She comes in like a savior but leaves me as a sinner. I hate her, but she is me, so I love her too. My self-image is split and shattered. I live with this for most of my life.

So, there are so many ways my story could have gone. My path is twisted and hilly. I still rely on her to tell me, “like it is” when I don’t know the answers. She always comforts me with her evil banter.

However, it has gotten better. I can stand my ground and have won a few battles. The war still rages, and my reality will forever be distorted, but I go on. With every battle won, I hope to be closer to my truth.

Here are some ways that help me win my battles.

Get Help / Seek Out Positive People

When you see yourself as an awful person, you attract people who think the same about you. Try to find a couple of good people in your life and be honest with them. Tell them that you are trying to conquer a demon and need a supportive friend. This can be difficult at the beginning because your judgment in others may be off. If you can afford it or have the resources, seek professional help. They will help you learn the tools and guide you into accurately finding the right type of people that you need to surround yourself to maintain a healthy environment.

Say at least 3 things you love about yourself.

Many people struggle with this and only focus on the negatives. Sometimes, you have to stand for 30 minutes before you can come up with something. However, this is what you need to do.

Look at yourself in a mirror.

I avoid mirrors as often as I can whenever I look in the mirror I just think negative thoughts. Now, I try to focus on other things apart from what my “friend” thinks. It helps me to stop thinking so negatively about myself.

Look at yourself as though you are someone else.

I’m the type of person who often sees the good in everyone. I can look at someone and instantly see good qualities about them. I realized that I had to see the good in me. I had to see the positives about myself even if that means looking at myself as though I am another person.

I can look at others and think how great they are as a person. It helps me to realize that people look and act differently. We are all beautiful and unique.

So, why can I be the same too?

Stop comparing yourself to others.

Comparing yourself to others, you first have to learn to love yourself. You have to see how you look genuinely. Sometimes, it is tough to do. Especially when I feel that person has everything, and I have nothing to show. I start to turn on the negative faucet and pour it all over myself.

When I catch myself doing this, I turn it off. I stop looking. I stop trying to understand why they are so “great.” I try to focus on myself and what makes me “great” or what “in” nature is beautiful at that moment. One of these two mental exercises does pull me out of my head.

So, these are some exercises to help me to learn to love myself. You will be able to say good things about yourself. That initial haze of feeling stupid and vain will start to fade out. This is just your “friend” trying to stop you from seeing your truth. You will begin to pick up the habit of counteracting some of your thoughts and distortions.

If you spend most of your time, your thoughts and your energy on your body shape and flawed mind, you won’t indeed be happy. It takes so much energy and time out of your life. You need to let go of the obsessive thoughts and learn to love yourself and to live life.

Featured

My Spiritual Self Care Routine

A new month is nearing, and I thought I would share some ways that I was practicing self-care and healing last month.

I enjoy connecting with the natural world by acknowledging this valuable Earth and its resources. I do not attempt for perfection in my journey, even now.

I know that some people are ready to jump into self-care and self-development but might feel overwhelmed with where to start. I hope that I can share more acumen with all of you.

Go Barefoot:
Earthing is the practice of shoeless walking. It feels good to go barefooted and do this with confidence, without craving the acceptance of others. I feel grounded on this Earth and get the sensation that I do belong on this planet and this Universe.

Breathe Mindfully:
I often hold my breath and looked tense when things get a little rough. I have experienced more emotional security and calm after following different breathing techniques. Mindful breathing allows me to be more in the present moment. It helps me better cope with my anxious feelings.

Healthy Nourishment:
I drink celery juice and smoothies every day, and I also take supplements. When I support myself entirely through nourishment, I can extend the same to those around me. I try to promote joy not only for myself but for all living beings.

Try Yoga:
I practice yoga. I don’t focus too much on the perfection of my form, but more so on my breathing and the awareness that I feel in my body and mind. I try to stay mindful even through the discomfort.

Connection through Meditation:
I started meditating about ten years ago. I was not able to focus in the beginning. It took me a few years to be aware of my breath and posture. I try to keep up with my morning prayers. I also express affirmations daily when I meditate. I do this to unite with the divine being and my spiritual self.

I’m grateful that you stuck around to read what I have shared.

Please let me know if you have practice any self-care routines in May, and how did you feel about it? Do you intend to continue self-care or start in June?

I hope so!

Featured

“Stop being a Jerk!”

No one has ever really said to me, “ Hey, I believe the emotion is self-serving. You jerk. ” yet, it could not strike me at all to see that some of my friends and family believe my emotions are self-serving. Furthermore to be clear, getting emotional does cause me to do some pretty self-centered things at the name of self-care. Then to those people who believe my emotion is selfish, I get it.

Really, I do.

The situation is, my emotions are uncertain, so sometimes I’m somewhat unpredictable. There’s not more I can do about this. I can’t just plan my anxiety attacks ahead of time. Oh, sometimes managing my emotions means canceling plans last minute so I will stay home and concentrate on my breathing. Sometimes it means dropping out with my friends. I would rather instead virtually observe and like photos. I totally can’t speak to them when I am way too anxious.

While I ultimately see how someone might believe my emotion is merely an excuse to be a flaky jerk, it’s really not. I’ve realized that I can be sort of flaky sometimes. Yes, I don’t attend functions and would rather avoid your text on an invitation than confront the fact that I will disappoint you. I mean I am literally worried about everything at that point. I am too worried to understand that not saying anything is worse than a saying, “no.”

This is rude as hell, but on these times that my emotions are out of power, it’s not at all unusual for me to withdraw any and all plans to interact with other humans. There are moments when my mind is trying very hard to defend me by getting me to accept the worst possible consequences for my actions, which sometimes only leads me to get more emotional than I had been in the first place.

Let me be clear: No one has ever really said to me, “ Hey, I believe the emotion is self-serving. You jerk. ” However, every day, I feel like this, and it doesn’t go away. I have learned to accept it and clear out some of the mental clutter, but when an attack happens I want to scream to my anxiety, “Why are you taking this away from my loved ones and me? I want to feel and experience!”

“Stop being a Jerk!”

Featured

Burnout! Tips to Deal or Prevent Homeschool Burnout.

The beginning of the year has been horrible. Our weather here in Brooklyn was too cold or rainy. This means that I can’t take, my daughter outside and I find myself in a funk. I am burnt out.

She doesn’t want to work, or I mess up and over schedule. We have burnouts or meltdowns every other day, especially at the beginning of the journey with homeschooling. It can be so frustrating when you are the parent and teacher too!

I hаvе learned a few tips аnd wауѕ tо prevent burnt out frоm hоmеѕсhооlіng уоur сhіld.

Do mоrе hands-on lеаrnіng
Thоѕе еxреrіmеntѕ, nоw іѕ a great time to do thеm! Not only will it bе fun fоr your child and a grеаt change of расе for them аnd you but you’ll аlѕо bе rеvіеwіng рrеvіоuѕ mаtеrіаl аt thе same tіmе.

Gеt оutѕіdе or Coffee Shop
Pасk uр thе bооkѕ аnd move thе learning somewhere else. Our local library is oddly always packed. It’s too cold to be outside for a long time, so we go to a coffee shop. I particularly like the ones for soft music and cozy couches. It feels quite engaging to sit together and to talk or do some reading. It’s a good bonding experience.

Gеt mоvіng
Find activities that actually move your body. Sitting home all day doesn’t help anyone. The cold can make it impossible actually to go outside, so find ways to be physical indoor. For instance, my daughter goes to yoga and dance classes. We also practice yoga or fun exercises throughout the day. Especially, if the subject matter is complicated. Who wouldn’t want to wiggle it off? Dоn’t forget to mоvе with them. It’ѕ a grеаt way tо get some physical activity fоr yourself tоо!

Tаkе ѕоmе me time fоr уоurѕеlf
When I ѕtаrt to fееl burnt out, mу сhіld рісkѕ uр on thаt quickly. I hаvе lеаrnеd thаt thе bеѕt thіng thаt I саn do as a mоm аnd a homeschooler іѕ to take a little time and do ѕоmеthіng I enjoy. I tаkе an hour аnd rеаd, do my nails, write a blog post or wаtсh an іnѕріrаtіоnаl ѕеrmоn. It wіll hеlр уоu to feel better so thаt уоu can finish those lаѕt fеw items on your list. Your child also sees how to handle stress and time management through passive learning.

Fіеld Trірѕ
Now, it’s the реrfесt time to take a few fіеld trірѕ аѕ іt will gіvе уоu аnd kids a muсh-nееdеd break frоm уоur dаіlу routine аnd will deliver a lоt of fun learning that your сhіld wіll rеmеmbеr fоrеvеr. If we’re not taking care of ourselves, we cannot take care of our kids. We are not taking care of ourselves; we cannot homeschool effectively. We’re going to be homeschooling on negligence because we are burned out. If you are facing homeschool burnout, I hope these things helped you get inspired.

If you home school, let me know of some ways that you help you and your child from burning out.

#homeschool #homeschooling #homeschoolmom #homeschoollife #homeschoolers #homeschooler #homeschooled #homeschoolrocks #homeschoolingmom #homeschoolfamily #HomeschoolKids #homeschoolmoms #homeschoolfun #homeschoolmama #homeschoolUS #homeschoolinglife #homeschoolfieldtrip #homeschoolkid #burnout #homeschooltips

Featured

I hate being the “mean” parent.

This blog is just a free following piece about my day and feelings. I am sure it will be riddled with a ton of grammar mistakes, but that is my natural state of being. I am completely imperfect.

Homeschooling is rough. You have to separate yourself as a parent versus a teacher. Some days are good, and things get done, but then there are days that my child refuses to do work. What do I do then? Send her to her room?

What frustrates the most about this is that I am co-parenting and her father will jump on the opportunity not to work because getting up in the morning is triumph over the day. She doesn’t get much disciplines there, so I am still the weight in the world for which rest on her shoulders. She knows she only has to deal with me for a little while before she returns to the haven of a father. I hate my role very much. I am always dismissed in this dynamic because that’s the way it has been since being with her dad.

So, homeschooling…I wanted to homeschool her because I felt it would allow me to spend time with her. She can see what “healthy” way of life instead of the negative side. She had a horrible teacher this year. The teacher only had five students yet couldn’t get her act together to be personable with the students or make any connection. She didn’t even bother to know my name. When confronted, she blamed the kids and my daughter. She is the teacher. Do not make it the fault of children. Even when they annoy you, they need to learn from you how to handle the situation. So, here I am the teacher and parent.

I am still learning, and it is not easy. I want to teach the word of God and also give her the curriculum I know she is capable of doing. The issue is that we are so new to these roles that there are misfires. I either get mad because she refuses to work or she refuses to work and ask to go to Daddy’s home. I try hard not to add my feelings and thoughts to the situation, but it is very hard.

I hate being the “mean” parent.

So, I am done ranting.

#homeschool #homeschooling #education #homeschoolmom #momlife #homeeducation #parenting #homeschoollife #kids #learning #mom #literacy #dyslexia #unschooling #earlylearning #homeschoolmoms #phonics #school #letterrecognition #earlychildhoodeducation #teachersofinstagram #workingmoms #babysteps #love #children #reading #coparenting #parenting #divorce #blendedfamily #love #children #family #relationship #singlemom #bonuskids #divorcedmom #divorcesupport

The Haiku Week Featured

Crazy Week to Be Perfect

This blog is just a free following piece about my day and feelings. I am sure it will be riddled with a ton of grammar mistakes, but that is my natural state of being. I am completely imperfect.

I wanted to write more this week. I made it part of my resolution to get out of my comfort zone and write. I love writing, but I hate the judgment that comes from a misplaced common or an incomplete sentence.

I don’t like to be judged.

I live a quiet life for this reason. I know it so much easier to say, “Oh, don’t listen to people!” For the most part, I don’t listen to people. I just get tripped up because I am also a perfectionist. I am the type of perfectionist that will stop what they are doing if they can’t do it right. My anxiety can be a jerk sometimes…see I even judge myself.

So, as I have mentioned, I have gotten better with working through my judgment riddled mind. I have gotten to the point that I can push through most nay-sayers, but sometimes one will pop up that stops me dead in my tracks.

This happened to be the week that I got obstructed. I didn’t have an opportunity to write, much less recollect. I am still growing my business, and my daughter was with me this week. She was very sick. Her dad was also ill so he couldn’t get her to bring her to school.

We decided to move forward with homeschool. She had the worse teacher and rather than waste our money of a teacher who doesn’t care for her students. She didn’t this option is the best for her and us.

This notion of teaching her terrifies me. What if I teach her the wrong things? What if I hold her back? What if I am not smart enough to teach a fourth grader?

It scary and my mind wants to freeze up. It’s been doing it all week. I won’t let it. We have too much going on for me to check out. So, for the sake of my sanity at this moment in time, I am sitting in front of my computer and just purging a bunch of thoughts and words, in no particular order or reason.

I guess I need to be accountable. These are the times that I have to see myself in the third person. I get frightened to reveal how my mind has gotten used to seeing me.

However, I am excited about homeschooling. It does give me more time if my daughter and I am not alone in this adventure. We have her dad, a homeschool program and a activities group. I have planned out of workflow so that she won’t miss a beat.

I am also concerned about work. I can run my own business. Where do I go from there? I would love to own a doggy daycare. I am eyeing that prize, but financially, it isn’t possible just yet. I rely on my other dog services. I am worried that I won’t make enough money. My e-commerce shop isn’t picking up much traffic. I am not sure if I should close it or work on it a little more. Ideally, it would be nice to have Tamemepet.com as my primary source of income, but I guess that is another topic that I have to figure out.

So, this week has been a little crazy.

Next week will be a whole new chapter.

I have to walk through the door eventually.

#family #familyandfriemds #familyframes #freeflow #anxiety #sick #anxietyhelp #anxietyrelief #anxietydisorder #anxietyattack #anxietysucks #random #rambles #perfectionism #homeschool #homeschool

Featured

I don’t want to deal

This blog is just a free following piece about my day and feelings. I am sure it will be riddled with a ton of grammar mistakes, but that is my natural state of being. I am completely imperfect.

It’s a cold day in Brooklyn. I do not want to go outdoors but I must as my job is to be there. Most of the time I do not mind it, but today, it just seems unmeasurable in torture.

My daughter is sick, and I feel I should be here for her. I don’t see her enough and here I go, leaving her when she needs me. I worry that my actions will mess her up somehow, but I try not to think of it. I have to work. I have to provide support to her and my family.

I always worry that I am never good enough. I am also self-absorbed and stuck in my head. I keep wondering of what could be instead of what is now. I try to think of ways to be more present, but sometimes I fail. I am just not ready to deal.

It is cold out today, and I don’t want to deal. I would rather be indoors and help my child heal.

#family #familyandfriemds #familyframes #freeflow #anxiety #sick #anxietyhelp #anxietyrelief #anxietydisorder #anxietyattack #anxietysucks #random #rambles

Featured

How to Make Co-Parenting Work

Co-parenting between the separated parents means that both have to share the responsibilities of children’s upbringing. Parents, who decide to do this, must cooperate to make it work. Following the co-parenting plan can be a
good start. However, saying it is easier than doing it. Problems will always rise especially in the case where parents haven’t resolved their internal conflicts.

The most common problem arising is that children keep seeing the ongoing battle between parents after the separation process. It’s unfortunate for the children because it will harm them psychologically. If you experience this problem, use a holistic co-parenting – which consider the arrangement of the co-parenting and the emotional aspect of all parties involved – to solve it. Here are the steps to do it:

Lose your fear
The reason why you keep fighting with your ex is that you still hold pain, as the result of the separation, within you. The pain derives from fear or trauma.

Can you see it now?

So fear or trauma is your conflict’s source. Now that you’ve found it, you have to lose it.

Here are the simple steps to do it:

  • Let all your fear out by writing them down.
  • Deal all your fear one by one.

For example, you’re afraid that you can’t handle the car’s matter which your ex usually did it for you. To lose your fear, go to the mechanic and learn how to deal with it. Once you manage to do it, you’ll gain confidence and fear no more.

Remember past fear and how you’d overcome i

This path down memory lane will make you think, “Hey! I’d overcome my fear. So I’ll be able to deal with this separation too.” This thought will strengthen you.

Cry out loud

Crying will help you in the process of losing fear. After that, you’ll feel relieved and see clearly. Thus, you’ll build positive communication with your ex who will likely give positive feedback for it. Once you do this, you have started a healthy co-parenting.

Ask your friends and family’s support

The process of letting out fear and afterward will take times. You’ll go through the ups and downs of the process. During the time, it’s better to ask for support/help from your friends and family.

As an outsider, they’ll be able to see your problem rationally. Therefore, at times you feel down, they can make you better and help you back to the track where you need to be to do healthy co-parenting.

However, if you think that your friends or family can’t help you due to whatever reasons, get the experts’ help.

Discuss the co-parenting in detail and make the win-win solutions agreement. Conflicts can also happen because of other aspects of co-parenting which are the kind of parenting style which you and your ex use in raising children and the financial matter. Therefore it’s important to discuss both in details.

During the discussion, let out all your thoughts of how you want the arrangement to be. Let your ex do the same. If both of you have differences, find the win-win solutions. So no one will be dissatisfied. Therefore no conflicts arise in the future.

Then make the agreement proved by the court. It’s an important step to do in a holistic co-parenting. This way you, your ex and most importantly your child will get all the deserved rights legally. In the case of unwanted events happen, the law will protect you.

Get me time

The next process you need to go through is that you must get your own me time. Spare time to do enjoying activities such as doing your hobbies, hanging out with your friends, meeting new people, traveling, etc. Do it while your child is with your ex.

Doing fun activities will refresh and relax you. You’ll get positive energy which will make you happy. Suggest your ex to do the same while your child is with you. That way, your ex will be happy too. The act of supporting your ex in term related to co-parenting is necessary also.

Because if your ex is in a healthy emotional state as you do, both of you can make your child happy as well. And this is the core of a holistic co-parenting.

Evaluate the co-parenting you’ve done

If conflicts still happen after all the efforts you’ve done. It’s time to evaluate the co-parenting arrangement. Asking the experts’ help is one thing you and your ex can do. They can give an objective evaluation, help both of you to figure out what’s wrong, and give alternative suggestions. After this evaluation, both of you may have to make a new decision about the co-parenting and repeat the above steps.

If conflicts still happen after all the efforts you’ve done. It’s time to evaluate the co-parenting arrangement. Asking the experts’ help is one thing you and your ex can do. They can give an objective evaluation, help both of you to figure out what’s wrong, and give alternative suggestions. After this evaluation, both of you may have to make a new decision about the co-parenting and repeat the above steps.

It seems tedious to do so but parenting – co-parenting or not – is a life’s time work. Just keep in mind that it’s for your beloved child. That way you’ll feel the hard work of co-parenting is worth to do.

#coparenting #parenting #divorce #blendedfamily #love #family #dad #children #kids #mom #son #marriage #stepparents #stepmom #daughter #bonusmom #stepson #familycourt #stepdaughter #stepkids #stepparenting #child #stepparent #bonuskids #bonusdaughter #bonusfamily #relationship #stepchildren

What Type of Parent Are You?

Diana Baumrind, a developmental psychologist, noticed in 1967 that parents have basic constructs to raising their children. She saw a pattern within these parenting styles that can directly affect the outcome of the child’s development. Today, we call these the Baumrind parenting styles.

Each child we have are unique. They are different in everything. As a parent, raising each individual child is different. Parents have to be very flexible and able to adapt accordingly to each child and different ages. Although many everyone has their own distinct styles of parenting, there are four main types of parenting.

These four styles are:
Authoritative
Authoritarian
Permissive
Uninvolved

Authoritative parents are reactive to the child’s emotional needs while expecting a high standard or outcome for their child. These type of parents set limits and are very consistent in enforcing boundaries. Authoritative parenting tends to be found in the middle of the level and is said to be a balanced parenting style. Children have a tendency to be more confident and have empathy for others. They also have better self-control.

Authoritarian and authoritative parenting styles may have similar names, but there are differences in how these type of parents raise there child. While both parental methods demand high standards for their children, authoritarian parents will demand blind obedience without being the child much of a reason for their action. These type parents are stern in discipline and often use some kind of punishment to control children’s behavior. Authoritarian parents tend to be less nurturing than authoritative parents as they have the tendency to be unresponsive to their children’s needs. Children have the tendency to lack self-esteem and insecure. They may also some behavior problems.

Permissive parenting style tends to be low in structure and high in reactivity. Permissive parents set very little rules and boundaries. These type of parents are reluctant to enforce rules. These parents are very warm and lenient, as they do not like to disappoint their children. Although it is great to want to make your children happy, there are points in development where the child may possess egocentric tendencies and lack self-control.

Uninvolved parents are low demandingness and low responsiveness. These type of parents do not set firm boundaries or very high standards without indifferent to their child’s needs and are not really involved in their child’s loves. This group of parenting may unwittingly know that they are uninvolved as some in this group suffer mental issues that inhibit them from being involved in parenting properly. Children from this group may experience issues such as feelings of rejection, lack of self-esteem, and problems with trusting others and in the long run, children may be harmed emotionally.

So, which style?

In many longitude studies, researchers found that authoritative parenting is consistently linked to the best results for children. With these studies, it is assumed that the authoritative parenting style is considered the best and most effective parenting style by psychologists and psychiatrists.

This classification of parenting styles has been studied for over 25 years in different countries. Results are generally found in each parenting style.

However, studies are not 100%. There could be factors that make other types of style much more effective. It also depends on each childn’s temperament, personality and culture too. It’s the classic nature verse nurture debate.

So, what do we do with this information? The most critical part of parenting is trying to keep our kid in a safe environment. Its impact on a child is vital.

What parenting tips can you give to help raise a healthy and happy child? Please leave your comments below.

.