Featured

I hate being the “mean” parent.

This blog is just a free following piece about my day and feelings. I am sure it will be riddled with a ton of grammar mistakes, but that is my natural state of being. I am completely imperfect.

Homeschooling is rough. You have to separate yourself as a parent versus a teacher. Some days are good, and things get done, but then there are days that my child refuses to do work. What do I do then? Send her to her room?

What frustrates the most about this is that I am co-parenting and her father will jump on the opportunity not to work because getting up in the morning is triumph over the day. She doesn’t get much disciplines there, so I am still the weight in the world for which rest on her shoulders. She knows she only has to deal with me for a little while before she returns to the haven of a father. I hate my role very much. I am always dismissed in this dynamic because that’s the way it has been since being with her dad.

So, homeschooling…I wanted to homeschool her because I felt it would allow me to spend time with her. She can see what “healthy” way of life instead of the negative side. She had a horrible teacher this year. The teacher only had five students yet couldn’t get her act together to be personable with the students or make any connection. She didn’t even bother to know my name. When confronted, she blamed the kids and my daughter. She is the teacher. Do not make it the fault of children. Even when they annoy you, they need to learn from you how to handle the situation. So, here I am the teacher and parent.

I am still learning, and it is not easy. I want to teach the word of God and also give her the curriculum I know she is capable of doing. The issue is that we are so new to these roles that there are misfires. I either get mad because she refuses to work or she refuses to work and ask to go to Daddy’s home. I try hard not to add my feelings and thoughts to the situation, but it is very hard.

I hate being the “mean” parent.

So, I am done ranting.

#homeschool #homeschooling #education #homeschoolmom #momlife #homeeducation #parenting #homeschoollife #kids #learning #mom #literacy #dyslexia #unschooling #earlylearning #homeschoolmoms #phonics #school #letterrecognition #earlychildhoodeducation #teachersofinstagram #workingmoms #babysteps #love #children #reading #coparenting #parenting #divorce #blendedfamily #love #children #family #relationship #singlemom #bonuskids #divorcedmom #divorcesupport

Advertisements
The Haiku Week Featured

Crazy Week to Be Perfect

This blog is just a free following piece about my day and feelings. I am sure it will be riddled with a ton of grammar mistakes, but that is my natural state of being. I am completely imperfect.

I wanted to write more this week. I made it part of my resolution to get out of my comfort zone and write. I love writing, but I hate the judgment that comes from a misplaced common or an incomplete sentence.

I don’t like to be judged.

I live a quiet life for this reason. I know it so much easier to say, “Oh, don’t listen to people!” For the most part, I don’t listen to people. I just get tripped up because I am also a perfectionist. I am the type of perfectionist that will stop what they are doing if they can’t do it right. My anxiety can be a jerk sometimes…see I even judge myself.

So, as I have mentioned, I have gotten better with working through my judgment riddled mind. I have gotten to the point that I can push through most nay-sayers, but sometimes one will pop up that stops me dead in my tracks.

This happened to be the week that I got obstructed. I didn’t have an opportunity to write, much less recollect. I am still growing my business, and my daughter was with me this week. She was very sick. Her dad was also ill so he couldn’t get her to bring her to school.

We decided to move forward with homeschool. She had the worse teacher and rather than waste our money of a teacher who doesn’t care for her students. She didn’t this option is the best for her and us.

This notion of teaching her terrifies me. What if I teach her the wrong things? What if I hold her back? What if I am not smart enough to teach a fourth grader?

It scary and my mind wants to freeze up. It’s been doing it all week. I won’t let it. We have too much going on for me to check out. So, for the sake of my sanity at this moment in time, I am sitting in front of my computer and just purging a bunch of thoughts and words, in no particular order or reason.

I guess I need to be accountable. These are the times that I have to see myself in the third person. I get frightened to reveal how my mind has gotten used to seeing me.

However, I am excited about homeschooling. It does give me more time if my daughter and I am not alone in this adventure. We have her dad, a homeschool program and a activities group. I have planned out of workflow so that she won’t miss a beat.

I am also concerned about work. I can run my own business. Where do I go from there? I would love to own a doggy daycare. I am eyeing that prize, but financially, it isn’t possible just yet. I rely on my other dog services. I am worried that I won’t make enough money. My e-commerce shop isn’t picking up much traffic. I am not sure if I should close it or work on it a little more. Ideally, it would be nice to have Tamemepet.com as my primary source of income, but I guess that is another topic that I have to figure out.

So, this week has been a little crazy.

Next week will be a whole new chapter.

I have to walk through the door eventually.

#family #familyandfriemds #familyframes #freeflow #anxiety #sick #anxietyhelp #anxietyrelief #anxietydisorder #anxietyattack #anxietysucks #random #rambles #perfectionism #homeschool #homeschool

Featured

How to Make Co-Parenting Work

Co-parenting between the separated parents means that both have to share the responsibilities of children’s upbringing. Parents, who decide to do this, must cooperate to make it work. Following the co-parenting plan can be a
good start. However, saying it is easier than doing it. Problems will always rise especially in the case where parents haven’t resolved their internal conflicts.

The most common problem arising is that children keep seeing the ongoing battle between parents after the separation process. It’s unfortunate for the children because it will harm them psychologically. If you experience this problem, use a holistic co-parenting – which consider the arrangement of the co-parenting and the emotional aspect of all parties involved – to solve it. Here are the steps to do it:

Lose your fear
The reason why you keep fighting with your ex is that you still hold pain, as the result of the separation, within you. The pain derives from fear or trauma.

Can you see it now?

So fear or trauma is your conflict’s source. Now that you’ve found it, you have to lose it.

Here are the simple steps to do it:

  • Let all your fear out by writing them down.
  • Deal all your fear one by one.

For example, you’re afraid that you can’t handle the car’s matter which your ex usually did it for you. To lose your fear, go to the mechanic and learn how to deal with it. Once you manage to do it, you’ll gain confidence and fear no more.

Remember past fear and how you’d overcome i

This path down memory lane will make you think, “Hey! I’d overcome my fear. So I’ll be able to deal with this separation too.” This thought will strengthen you.

Cry out loud

Crying will help you in the process of losing fear. After that, you’ll feel relieved and see clearly. Thus, you’ll build positive communication with your ex who will likely give positive feedback for it. Once you do this, you have started a healthy co-parenting.

Ask your friends and family’s support

The process of letting out fear and afterward will take times. You’ll go through the ups and downs of the process. During the time, it’s better to ask for support/help from your friends and family.

As an outsider, they’ll be able to see your problem rationally. Therefore, at times you feel down, they can make you better and help you back to the track where you need to be to do healthy co-parenting.

However, if you think that your friends or family can’t help you due to whatever reasons, get the experts’ help.

Discuss the co-parenting in detail and make the win-win solutions agreement. Conflicts can also happen because of other aspects of co-parenting which are the kind of parenting style which you and your ex use in raising children and the financial matter. Therefore it’s important to discuss both in details.

During the discussion, let out all your thoughts of how you want the arrangement to be. Let your ex do the same. If both of you have differences, find the win-win solutions. So no one will be dissatisfied. Therefore no conflicts arise in the future.

Then make the agreement proved by the court. It’s an important step to do in a holistic co-parenting. This way you, your ex and most importantly your child will get all the deserved rights legally. In the case of unwanted events happen, the law will protect you.

Get me time

The next process you need to go through is that you must get your own me time. Spare time to do enjoying activities such as doing your hobbies, hanging out with your friends, meeting new people, traveling, etc. Do it while your child is with your ex.

Doing fun activities will refresh and relax you. You’ll get positive energy which will make you happy. Suggest your ex to do the same while your child is with you. That way, your ex will be happy too. The act of supporting your ex in term related to co-parenting is necessary also.

Because if your ex is in a healthy emotional state as you do, both of you can make your child happy as well. And this is the core of a holistic co-parenting.

Evaluate the co-parenting you’ve done

If conflicts still happen after all the efforts you’ve done. It’s time to evaluate the co-parenting arrangement. Asking the experts’ help is one thing you and your ex can do. They can give an objective evaluation, help both of you to figure out what’s wrong, and give alternative suggestions. After this evaluation, both of you may have to make a new decision about the co-parenting and repeat the above steps.

If conflicts still happen after all the efforts you’ve done. It’s time to evaluate the co-parenting arrangement. Asking the experts’ help is one thing you and your ex can do. They can give an objective evaluation, help both of you to figure out what’s wrong, and give alternative suggestions. After this evaluation, both of you may have to make a new decision about the co-parenting and repeat the above steps.

It seems tedious to do so but parenting – co-parenting or not – is a life’s time work. Just keep in mind that it’s for your beloved child. That way you’ll feel the hard work of co-parenting is worth to do.

#coparenting #parenting #divorce #blendedfamily #love #family #dad #children #kids #mom #son #marriage #stepparents #stepmom #daughter #bonusmom #stepson #familycourt #stepdaughter #stepkids #stepparenting #child #stepparent #bonuskids #bonusdaughter #bonusfamily #relationship #stepchildren