The Haiku Week Featured

The Haiku Week #1

Day 1:
Today is the day
When the two of us collide
I take a deep breath

Day 2:
There is a valley
It is filled with gray clouds
Now, there is no room

Day 3:
Now all is silent
Mid-flight whispers are captured
It is dense and gone

Day 4:
Pounding of my head
Stomach pings – feels empty
‘Caused not by hunger

Day 5:
Smells like a sweet wind
Feels like stinging abrasions
Eyes are closed for gusts

Day 6:
Obscure dancing cries
Callous shocks beat my skin
Awareness implodes

Day 7:
Lost what I can see
Flowers do not smell so sweet
Found in the shadows

Featured

Patterns, Depression, Anxiety and Coping with Life

This blog is just a free following piece about my day and feelings. I am sure it will be riddled with a ton of grammar mistakes, but that is my natural state of being. I am completely imperfect.

I have a lot of catching up to do in my life, including this blog. I have been struggling a little bit with depression and anxiety. I get triggered a little easier these days.

I don’t know how to explain these triggers as I get older. My life has become too simple but all so complicated. I don’t have a passion for many things anymore. I don’t know if it’s depression or anxiety and being accustomed to the numbness, but it’s there. It hurts not to feel.

I do have issues with understanding emotions ever since I was a kid, so I learned to pick up patterns. If a,b,c happens, then d,e,f will follow. I have had a perfect system and could predict other’s emotions. My goal with this technique was to keep others calm and collected, so they do not become unpredictable.

I am at a point that I have no idea what system to use. So much has happened because I have predicted the outcome very wrong. I also have foresight but not for the little things. As some people get older, they pay attention to things at don’t matter and get angry if material items are not just right.

Why?

I try to open a conversation to understand what is going on.

Why does this matter?

For me, it is to understand the emotions behind the grievance so I may not do it again or can have that critical conversation to better the relationship.

I do come off as cold.

I am not cold. If I don’t understand, and if the willingness to not be open isn’t there, I freeze. I am frozen. I can’t have a conversation with someone who judges without justification or at least a little more insight into why they are the way. I don’t see the point of exposing myself to things that can hurt.

So, what about today. I am writing this freely in hopes to understand why I am so disconnected with everyone at the moment.

I can recognize this trend a little bit.

The past few months have been rough. I have been stalked, shamed, and dismissed.

These are real things, and I am trying to cope with the hurt.

How am I getting out of this cycle?

I am open to my thoughts and concerns. I meditate and breathe. I distract myself with life. Those in between moments of breathing do make me realize things aren’t so bad.

I am talking, despite having the lack and desire. I only hope that these pockets will open me to people, real emotions, and life again.

I pray.
I live.
I hope.
I do.
I am.

Featured

4 Yoga Poses That Help Clear Your Mind, Anxiety or Worry

Were you able to check the inventory stock? Do we have enough staff on duty today? How can I plan my leaving today to go and pick up my kids from school? Have we booked enough appointments today? How will I attend the next meeting? These are some of the questions we have on our minds every day. A cluttered mind may alter our performance, and we may feel worried. However, we need a way to clear up our minds to be our better self and be more productive.

Strength, balance, flexibility, and endurance are all known to be the physical benefits of yoga. However, we also know that there are other health benefits of yoga apart from the physical level. Yoga is, in fact, one of the universal exercises that benefit you emotionally and psychologically.

Yoga is essential because it helps to cultivate awareness of the thoughts and sensations, mindfulness, and emotions; this makes us assume that it is synonymous with meditation. It also helps to boost your breathing and concentration.

To help clear your mind, anxiety and worry, below are four different yoga poses you need to practice:

  • Salutation Seal Pose – This is a simple breathing exercise you can use to start practicing your meditation.

To do this, sit in a cross-legged position on the floor and place your hands together in a prayer position. Forget about everything and focus on your breathing (deep inhaling and exhaling) while straightening your spine.

  • Child’s Pose – Also known as the Balasana Pose, Child’s Pose is a yoga practice that helps stretch your body (ankles, shoulders, spine, back, thighs, and neck), making you stay relaxed completely.

To do this, allow your body to fall forward far from the hips and making your tummy to rests among your thighs and your forehead resting on the mat; you do this while sitting on the floor and relaxing your hips on your heels. Stretch your hands and rest your palms on the mat. While in this position, focus on your breathing. After all, these, breathe deeply and return to the starting point while exhaling slowly.

  • Tree Pose – Also known as Vrikshasana, this pose challenges your sense of balance, and this is a perfect yoga to boost your concentration.

While standing on your feet at a hip distance apart, bend your knee above the knee cap and place its sole on top of the upper inner thigh. Make sure you straighten your left leg while finding your balance. Raise your arms above your head and bring your palms together (like you are praying) while taking a deep breath. You should look straight to balance. Maintain this position for 30 seconds and repeat on the other side.

  • Mountain Pose – Also known as Tadasana, the Mountain Pose helps to relieve back pain, improves posture, and strengthens the knees, ankles, thighs, abdomen, and buttocks. It also helps to steady your breathing and boost your awareness.

To get started, stand with your feet in contact and your back erect. Raise your hands with your palms touching and inhaling deeply. While looking at your fingertips, stretch your body very well and as far as you can. You can also close your eyes while straightening your head. Concentrate on your breathing and maintain this posture for 30 seconds before going back to the normal position and exhale deeply.

Let me know if you agree and if you have a favorite pose that helps you through anxiety to declutter your mind.

#yoga #yogaretreats #yogamorningflow #yogalover #yogastudy #yogaon #yogaaday #yogaforstrenght #yogawith #yogacommunity #yogalifestylefashion #yogainesperance #yogainspiration #yogaanxiety #anxiety #mentalhealth

Cookie Recipe Featured

Chocolate Chip Cookie Monster

I am a huge cookie monster! Chocolate chip cookies are my favorite. You will definitely find crumbs all over my seat after eating these. It’s just one of those fun desserts that are simple enough to make and easy to eat.

Whenever I feel down, these cookies seem to help me refocus and bring me back to my happy place.

Please try the recipe below and release your inner monster!

Dry Ingredients
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon fine sea salt
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 1/4 cups lightly packed light brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon of cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

Wet Ingredients
2 sticks unsalted butter, at room temperature
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 large eggs, at room temperature
2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips

Directions
Preheat oven to 350ºF.

Line baking sheets with parchment paper.

In a medium sized bowl combine the flour, baking soda, salt, nutmeg, and cinnamon.

In another larger sized bowl mix the butter, granulated sugar, and brown sugar until creamy.
Then add the vanilla and eggs to the creamy mix.
Slowly mix in the dry ingredients until well blended.
Finally, blend in the chocolate chips.

Cover the dough, and let it sit at room temperature just until it is soft enough to scoop.

When soft enough, scoop up 2-tablespoon sized balls using a cookie scoop or tablespoon and drop onto prepared baking sheets.

Bake for 10-13 minutes, or until golden brown. Cool for 5 minutes before removing to wire racks to cool completely.

The cookies should be a little thick, soft in the middle, crisp around the edges.

I hope you enjoy this recipe. Please let me know how it goes and it your inner cookie monster was set free.

#chocolatechip #chocolatechipcookies #chocolatechips #chocolatechipcookie #chocolatechipcookiedough #chocolatechipscookies #ChocolateChipCookieDay #cookierecipe #dessertrescipe #easyrecipe #mindfuleating #mindfulcooking #mindful #anxiety

The Haiku Week Featured

Crazy Week to Be Perfect

This blog is just a free following piece about my day and feelings. I am sure it will be riddled with a ton of grammar mistakes, but that is my natural state of being. I am completely imperfect.

I wanted to write more this week. I made it part of my resolution to get out of my comfort zone and write. I love writing, but I hate the judgment that comes from a misplaced common or an incomplete sentence.

I don’t like to be judged.

I live a quiet life for this reason. I know it so much easier to say, “Oh, don’t listen to people!” For the most part, I don’t listen to people. I just get tripped up because I am also a perfectionist. I am the type of perfectionist that will stop what they are doing if they can’t do it right. My anxiety can be a jerk sometimes…see I even judge myself.

So, as I have mentioned, I have gotten better with working through my judgment riddled mind. I have gotten to the point that I can push through most nay-sayers, but sometimes one will pop up that stops me dead in my tracks.

This happened to be the week that I got obstructed. I didn’t have an opportunity to write, much less recollect. I am still growing my business, and my daughter was with me this week. She was very sick. Her dad was also ill so he couldn’t get her to bring her to school.

We decided to move forward with homeschool. She had the worse teacher and rather than waste our money of a teacher who doesn’t care for her students. She didn’t this option is the best for her and us.

This notion of teaching her terrifies me. What if I teach her the wrong things? What if I hold her back? What if I am not smart enough to teach a fourth grader?

It scary and my mind wants to freeze up. It’s been doing it all week. I won’t let it. We have too much going on for me to check out. So, for the sake of my sanity at this moment in time, I am sitting in front of my computer and just purging a bunch of thoughts and words, in no particular order or reason.

I guess I need to be accountable. These are the times that I have to see myself in the third person. I get frightened to reveal how my mind has gotten used to seeing me.

However, I am excited about homeschooling. It does give me more time if my daughter and I am not alone in this adventure. We have her dad, a homeschool program and a activities group. I have planned out of workflow so that she won’t miss a beat.

I am also concerned about work. I can run my own business. Where do I go from there? I would love to own a doggy daycare. I am eyeing that prize, but financially, it isn’t possible just yet. I rely on my other dog services. I am worried that I won’t make enough money. My e-commerce shop isn’t picking up much traffic. I am not sure if I should close it or work on it a little more. Ideally, it would be nice to have Tamemepet.com as my primary source of income, but I guess that is another topic that I have to figure out.

So, this week has been a little crazy.

Next week will be a whole new chapter.

I have to walk through the door eventually.

#family #familyandfriemds #familyframes #freeflow #anxiety #sick #anxietyhelp #anxietyrelief #anxietydisorder #anxietyattack #anxietysucks #random #rambles #perfectionism #homeschool #homeschool

Featured

I don’t want to deal

This blog is just a free following piece about my day and feelings. I am sure it will be riddled with a ton of grammar mistakes, but that is my natural state of being. I am completely imperfect.

It’s a cold day in Brooklyn. I do not want to go outdoors but I must as my job is to be there. Most of the time I do not mind it, but today, it just seems unmeasurable in torture.

My daughter is sick, and I feel I should be here for her. I don’t see her enough and here I go, leaving her when she needs me. I worry that my actions will mess her up somehow, but I try not to think of it. I have to work. I have to provide support to her and my family.

I always worry that I am never good enough. I am also self-absorbed and stuck in my head. I keep wondering of what could be instead of what is now. I try to think of ways to be more present, but sometimes I fail. I am just not ready to deal.

It is cold out today, and I don’t want to deal. I would rather be indoors and help my child heal.

#family #familyandfriemds #familyframes #freeflow #anxiety #sick #anxietyhelp #anxietyrelief #anxietydisorder #anxietyattack #anxietysucks #random #rambles

Featured

Raspberry Coconut Macaroons

These raspberry coconut macaroons are something I make to remind me of a warmer sunny day. It is a cold day in Brooklyn, and I rather be indoors. Sometimes, my anxiety can be raised if I sit too long, so to keep myself occupied, I love to try recipes from the ingredients that I already have in my home.

I am pretty sure you can add any berry or no berries to the cookie. You can also but vegan ingredients if you aren’t into dairy products. Either way, when you take a bite, hopefully, it will give you that warm and cozy vibe of a summertime night.

Wet Ingredients:
4 large egg whites
1/2 cup raspberries
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Dry Ingredients
4 and 3/4 cups sweetened shredded coconut
1/2 cup granulated sugar

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 325°F
  2. Prepare by lining two baking sheets with parchment paper.
  3. Do not put your dough in until the oven is at 325°F
  4. For about 2 minutes, in a large bowl using a mixer with paddle accessory, whipped the sugar, egg whites, and vanilla together egg whites, sugar, and vanilla together on medium to high speed until frothy and the sugar dissolved.
  5. Then add in the shredded coconut gradually, making sure the coconut is evenly moistened.
  6. The batter will be moist and gluey.
  7. Cover the mixture tightly with plastic wrap or wax paper and refrigerator for 30 minutes. This will allow the coconut to become moist.
  8. Meanwhile, pat your raspberries dry with a paper towel or cloth. You don’t want them too wet.
  9. Once the 30 minutes are over, unwrap the dough and fold in the raspberries into the coconut batter.
  10. Scoop 2 Tablespoons of the batter and place in on the prepared baking sheet it should be about 2 inches apart. Make sure the mounds are very dense but round.
  11. Bake for about 20 minutes until the cookie is lightly golden brown.
  12. Allow the cookies to cool thoroughly on the baking sheets before eating.

I hope you enjoy this recipe as much as I do and stay warm (or cool in you are in the summer season) today.

You are pretty awesome for reading this, so thank you!

Let me know if you have any recommendations for recipes or questions below.

#recipe #recipetohappiness #recipebinders #recipeforlife #Recipeforyou #recipeideas #Recipeoftheday #RecipeDiaries #RecipesForDays #recipesoftheday #recipedeveloping #recipeofweek #recipesbyme #Raspberry #Coconut #Macaroons #Berries #MacaroonRecipe #mindfulcooking #DBT #anxiety #mentalhealth

Featured

Loneliness, The Fear of Being Hurt

One of scariest feelings is loneliness. Thinking that people do not get you can paralyze your life and dissolve your laughter.
Loneliness prevents you from talking out your problems with others and gives you a false sense of security that you are safe.

This false sense of security most likely happened because you were hurt deeply by someone or something. Being alone is the great escape as it prevents more hurt from entering your soul. However, it doesn’t help. It’s a trap. It makes you replay the betrayal over and over again until what was a real memory becomes morphed with a negative belief. You relive every moment in every situation that reminds you of that hurt. You live in the past trying to get through the present with eyes shut. The future will always be dark until we can open our eyes.

How do we get past this?

It seems to be everywhere, and some have it worse than others, while others are never alone. It’s easier said than done, and I don’t know if it can be fixed…so my depression and anxiety would like me to believe.

When I am down, I feel most alone. I am ashamed of myself and what I am thinking. It can be an awful mess, and I have to be mindful of “waiting it out” until I can see a spark of light. These moments of light have become frequent, but it can be quickly turned off if I am not careful.

During these fragmented moments, I have filled it with patches of hope. It is a point that wants to see the world and remind me that there are people out there. Some that may want to help me or acknowledge me. I get scared with even thinking of this. It’s the fear of hurt that keeps people and thoughts away.

One thought: there are people out there. They do not want to hurt me, and therefore I am honestly never alone. There is so much out in the world, and there is so much potential to not to be alone.

Fear is not immoral it exposes your vulnerabilities so you can respond. Feeling lonely is profound, and for some, including me, it takes more than an enchanting sentence to open one’s eyes. However, I do believe that they can be open, just maybe a little slow and with a bit of more evidence that can only come when allowed to those fragments of light in your mind. You slowly start to see that perhaps you are not alone.

Maybe the people whom you wished to be there aren’t the people you need. Perhaps it is the other person, the person who stands by and waits for your light because they tried a million times to show you. The lessons are there, but we need to be open to being fearless. We would not exist if there weren’t people who cared. Who took care of us when we couldn’t. Those are the people who are there. Those are the people waiting, even if you can’t see them yet.

More importantly, when you do see that you are not alone, it allows you to create memories and experience trust. You can never really get rid of bad experiences, but creating new ones will help ease the bitterness and fear.

It’s a journey that I am always on, but I do believe you can become the best version of you when fear being hurt is closed.

#Loneliness #CBT #lonelinesskills #lonelinessve #lonelinessevenwhenaroundpeople #lonelinessisablessing #loneliness #depression #anxiety #suicide #lonely #lifesucks #therapy #sad #fear #insecurity #hurt #mentalhealth #youtube #livenow #dark

How to Recognize A Toxic Person

For most of us, we like to assume in the best of people. Unfortunately, that can get us in trouble. Toxic people do exist, and chances are we’ve met one. Sometimes they might not even realize they’re causing harm to others. Other times, they are fully aware of the power they hold over other people and actively aim to do damage.

Fortunately, there are warning signs, so please be mindful when reading this post. It could be information in this piece to help you understand a difficult person in your life.

Toxic people play the victim, they are in a constant state of their tragic world. The people who struggle with the victim mentality doesn’t think they have power over their lives and they blame other people in the circumstances. This can be from being unhappy to avoid taking responsibility for their lives. Playing the victim can give someone the power to control another person. These type of people seem to prey on your feelings of compassion and goodwill. They usually do to see how much you are willing to surrender to make them happy. You will not make them happy and will end up wasting your time and energy.

A classic victim attitude is when they flip a situation to make it about them. They put themselves down while defensively blaming you for their life situation.

If you have caught someone lying several times about things that generally are ordinary, you might be dealing is a pathological liar.

Pathological liars are someone who continuously lies to protect their image. They are masters of manipulation. They tend to be impulsive people with a need to fascinate others. They might not always have a purpose to why they are lying.

The pathological liar can leave you feeling frustrated, misguided, and neurotic. It might even make you question your rationality. Pathological lying can also be a symptom of more severe problems of mental illness. Please ask for advice from a professional should you suspect mental illness.

Emotional abuse can be one of the most grievous forms of savagery. It creates marks that can last longer than physical ones and it’s challenging to detect. This type of toxic person can leave you with depression, demoralization, self-blame, and very low self-esteem.

Emotional abuse can be passive aggressive behavior, shouting, depreciating, judgment and be accusatory to your actions.

Certain people project their vulnerabilities and insecurities onto another person in the form of anger and bullying. They are ineffective of considering limits. They can’t process their own toxicity. They deal with it by putting it on to someone else. They will try to break your will. They need to make someone feel small, so they can feel big.

You are usually walking on eggshells around this person. The person can routinely mock you and dismiss your beliefs, thoughts, and feelings. They will blame you for the problems in your relationship and tell you that is it your fault. If you find yourself in an emotionally abusive situation, please distance yourself. You are worth more than what you are being told.

Toxic people can be master manipulators, and they are smart about hiding their true intentions. They try to control people whether directly or indirectly. They need something from you and will work hard to make sure they get it. They might be utterly incapable of feeling remorse and recognizing their bad behavior.

A controlling person needs to know where you are at all times. They like to micromanage your work. They will try to pull you away from your loved ones and friends. They will try to keep you for themselves. If you are dealing with this type of personality, talk to them and if that doesn’t get through to them, gracious leave or distance yourself.

I mentioned a couple of times about toxic people and how we should try not to have them in our lives. A toxic person doesn’t have to be toxic to everyone, they could be using you. You may also find that you may fit into one of these definitions of a toxic person. Before you dump someone or truly start to doubt your existence, I would recommend talking to people and researching before many any decisions.

We all deserve to live in harmony. If you find yourself in one of
these situations, please take the necessary steps to make your life better.

Points of Reference:
Dealing With Toxic People You Can’t Just Cut Out Forever: https://www.scarymommy.com/dealing-with-toxic-people/

8 Strategies for Dealing With the Toxic People in Your Life:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201612/8-strategies-dealing-the-toxic-people-in-your-life

How Emotionally Intelligent People Handle Toxic People: http://www.talentsmart.com/articles/How-Emotionally-Intelligent-People-Handle-Toxic-People-1028629190-p-1.html

Signs of a Toxic Person and How to Cut Those Toxic People out of Your Life: https://theartofcharm.com/empowerment/cut-toxic-people-life/

7 Types of Toxic People and How to Spot Them: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/toxic-people/

#selflove #psychopath #survivor #boundaries #selfcare #narcissism #divorce #nocontact #healing #npd #empath #fakelove #anxiety #domesticabuse #love #liar #cheater #narcissisticabusesurvivor #cptsd #narcissisticmother #depression #fraud #toxicrelationship #traumabonding #loveyourself #pathologicalliar #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #awareness #motivationalquotes #recovery

A Simple Exercise in Gratitude

I am no stranger to anxiety and depression. I have suffered from it for most of my life. Nowadays, I am a little open-minded to the possibility that I can change my mood or at least the view of my day by doing a simple exercise.

It seems that in today’s world, being negative is sort of taking over. There seems to be more and more things that are not acceptable, and there are other things that are acceptable but entirely unattainable for the average person. So, I hope this practice can help you and your outlook.

This exercise is designed to help you think more positively and hopefully be able to help you deal with the negative things a little bit better. It sounds easy, but can be challenging for those stuck in a depressed or anxious state.

You just start by creating a gratitude list each day.

Each day, write down the things that you appreciate in life. You may start off great, but you’ll have a day when nothing seems excellent. That’s where your mind is going to kick in and will help you find the appreciation of the smaller things.

An example for me would be the love of my family, the support of my friends, having a home, and the ability to eat good food. In a few days, it may be harder, so I have to start to look at my current surroundings like, my dog under my foot as I type or this warm cup of coffee that tastes amazing. By consistently practicing this, it helps make me feel good and helps to set up my day a little bit better.

Now you might think that sounds weird, especially if you are currently anxious or depressed, but that’s kind of how it works. I really have started to appreciate the tiny little things. It gives me a moment to get out of my head or opens me up to get help.

It does help me to think more positively and to really start appreciating everything in my life. When you are in a mood, the negative thoughts are a lot more powerful than positive ones. It’s so easy to think of something negative. This exercise, allows your mind to tell your brain, “Ok, you do not like it but, here at least there is something positive in the situation.” You want to keep trying to put these positive thoughts into your mind until they start to become second nature in your daily practice.

I wanted to share this little exercise because it seems to help me. It does take time and patience, but try not to be hard on yourself. Gratitude is something most of us don’t practice because we are stuck in the past or future of being without. This exercise allows me to pay attention to the moment and can help me change my thoughts. I hope it does the same for you.

What kind of practices do you do to help change your mood?

#gratitude #love #life #peace #grateful #happiness #blessed #joy #meditation #motivation #yoga #inspiration #nature #family #happy #selflove #positivevibes #thankful #spirituality #fitness #believe #faith #mindfulness #goodvibes #travel #energy #bhfyp #depression #anxiety #needhelp #tips #gradtitudelist