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Forgiveness: You Have a Choice

Forgiveness is a powerful act in the human psyche. If we continue to think in an unforgiving way, we will always have resentment. If we are continually having angry and resentful thoughts, we will never be satisfied and find pleasure.

When we forgive, we are excusing ourselves. If we hold on to our negative emotions and try the justify our negative processes as the way out, we will be stuck in our own prison of shame, anger, and doubt. It is very telling in those situations that we believe we are trying our best to get out, but nothing is working. If you are feeling stuck, maybe you should ask if there is something that you have not forgiven.

When you do not move willingly with life in the present moment, it usually indicates you are leading from the past. Holding on to unforgiveness will consume the present moment. It’s only in the present that can you create your future. Your thoughts and words are powerful, so to not forgive means that you will be bringing your negative emotions into your future self.

When you blame another person for how you feel, give your own power away. You are putting the security for your emotions to someone else.

There is a difference between forgiveness and acceptance. Forgiving someone does not mean that you condone their behavior. The act of forgiveness takes place in your mind. It really has nothing to do with the other person. The truth of forgiveness lies in placing ourselves free from carrying the pain. It is a way of releasing yourself from a negative mindset.

Forgiveness does not mean allowing the painful actions of another to continue in your life. Sometimes forgiveness means letting go. When you forgive and take a stand to your emotions, it helps to set a healthy boundary. When you let it go, you free up some headspace to think of thoughts that make you feel stable. This new headspace may allow you to pay attention to the present moment and give you enough room to create a more positive construct for the future.

You have a choice.

#forgiveness #peace #love #spiritual #life #believe #hope #mindfulpractice #forgive #soul #compassion #wisdom #spirituality #trust #mind #worry #meditation #calm #faithful #destiny #guidance #meditate #thankful

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No one has a name

Meeting in the night
Erasing the momentarily yearn
Lost in destiny

Inkwells are stained but dried out
Soothing words are never written but remain silent
Sorrow for these words that we never heard, but it is blinding

Acclamation to lost desires
Continuing abhorrence
Refreshing is the fantasy that never transpired

Love was forsaken
Sorrow survives
Disappearing to the next conquest

No one has a name

#relationshippoems #relationship #poetry #poem #love #poems #face #poetrycommunity #lyrics #poetryporn #relationships #relationshipproblems #relationshipquote #oneline #life #sad

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A New Puppy: The Basics for Positive Behavior

If you have a puppy, it’s important to note that these next few weeks will be a moment of bonding and joy. With a little preparation and patience, you will be able to provide your furry friend with the best care and help him explore his new world safely. The following are what your puppy needs to learn during this stage.

Lead walking:

At this stage, your dog is ready for walking. You can begin slipping a lead over your puppy’s head for very short periods as he walks beside you. Make sure you have the proper collar, leash or harness for your puppy. This is the perfect time to teach your puppy to walk correctly on a leash, so start right away.

Recall:

Making sure your dog has a good recall is one of the most critical obedience exercises you can teach them. This will enable you to confidently let your dog off leash at the park knowing they will quickly return to you when you are ready to go home and help you ensure that you get their attention and they can instantly come back to you for safety reasons.

Socialization:

Socializing your puppy is essential at this stage; your puppy must be socialized to humans by having positive experiences with people of all ages, including children, women, men, and people with sticks and in wheelchairs — anything a dog may face at any time of his life. If social learning is not achieved at this stage, the dog may never recover.

Similarly, if negative experiences occur, the dog can learn negative associations with any stimulus. If your dog misses out on contact with other dogs at this stage, he will not learn the basics of pleasant and polite dog communication.

Bite inhibition:

This is the peak age for dog biting, so do not expect too much. He is teething and also trying to communicate with you. Although biting is a big problem and a big shock for a lot of new dog owners, so work on bite inhibition and let your pup know that biting is unwanted behavior. One thing I like to do it have a toy handy, so when the puppy starts to bite, I replace my hand for the toy. If I don’t have a toy handy, I pull my hand away, lift up one finger and gently say no.

Getting into their Bed & Begging:

It is best to let your puppies know that the idea of getting on their bed while you eat is a great idea that attracts treats. You can hold your puppy favorite treat with you, and every time you sit down to eat, give your dog the treat every time he goes into his bed. You will teach him not to beg but also an association that this bed in his place.

Basic commands:

He can start to learn the basic commands. It’s always easy to teach a new command than to break an old habit. Even before you think about teaching your puppy to do the trick, there are three commands he must learn such as Sit, stay and come, these are the basic commands in puppy’s training.

You are just beginning to study your new furry companion, and he is also learning about you. Keep your focus on your training and keep it positive. Your lovely pet is eager to please, and the time you invest in training will pay off when he grows up.

There are plenty of books out there on how to train, but also hiring someone to take care of your puppy while you are away will give them more exposure to people and senses.

#puppytraining#puppy#dog#dogsofinstagram#dogtraining#dogs#puppylove#dogstagram#puppies#puppiesofinstagram#cute#training#doglover#dogtrainer#obedience#dogoftheday#dogsofinsta#gsd#instagram#pet#doglife#workingdog#pup#germanshepherd

Banana Bread Featured

Yummy Banana Breakfast Bread

I had some time to spare and a few ripe bananas. I thought I would share the recipe that I use when making banana bread. It is super easy and is a great snack or part of your breakfast.

Whenever I get overwhelmed or need to focus, I find cooking does that for me. I loved cooking since I was tiny and experimented with all kinds of ingredients to feed my brothers and sisters. Sometimes the food came out fantastic and other times….well, not so much.

There is actually a movement for this type of therapy, which I will reference below that states:

Cooking and baking are pursuits that fit a type of therapy known as behavioral activation. The goal is to alleviate depression by boosting positive activity, increasing goal-oriented behavior and curbing procrastination and passivity.

If the activity is defined as personally rewarding or giving a sense of accomplishment or pleasure, or even seeing the joy of that pumpkin bread with chocolate chips making someone else happy, then it could improve a sense of well-being,” says Jacqueline Gollan, associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago.”

So, if you need a pick me up, please try this recipe.

Dry Ingredients:
3/4 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 cup white sugar & 1/4 cup of brown sugar
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda

Wet Ingredients:
4 ripe bananas
5 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
3 eggs, room temperature

  1. Preheat oven to 350 F
  2. To a large mixing bowl add, all-purpose flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon
  3. Combine and blend well together and set aside
  4. In a separate mixing bowl, add 4 very ripe bananas and mash well with a fork until it looks like paste
  5. Add butter and room temperature eggs and combine all together with a fork until it is well-mixed.
  6. Combine wet and dry ingredients together and mix well
  7. To a greased loaf pan or use parchment paper (it’s up to you)
  8. Pour batter into pan
  9. Distribute evenly and press down on the mixture to remove any air bubbles
  10. Bake for 40-50 min (test with a toothpick around 40 min and it comes out cleanly, remove)
  11. Let cool on a wire rack

Eat and Enjoy!

What’s your favorite breakfast recipe? Do you enjoy cooking?

Please let me know.

A Road to Mental Health Through the Kitchen: https://www.wsj.com/articles/a-road-to-mental-health-through-the-kitchen-1418059204

#bananabreadrecipe #bananabread #banana #sundaybaking #baking #nondietapproach #bakingrecipes #bananarecipes #nondiet #bananabreas #therapy #depression #selfove

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30 Day Declutter Challenge – Week 1

For January, I decided to do the 30-day decluttered challenge. In this challenge, you have 30 days to declutter items from your home. In this challenge, the day of the challenge pairs with the number of items you have to get rid of, so one day 1, you pick one item to get rid of and on day 30, you get rid of thirty pieces. So, in total, you will be getting rid of 460 things.

It has been a journey for me to downsize my material possessions. I’ve been doing it for over two years and still have a lot to go. What I want in my home are items that bring me joy and less work. So, I hope that this challenge will help me appreciate the things and also recognize the things that I don’t need. Each week, I will post pictures of the items that I will be getting rid of in my home.

For the most part, the items that I discard are going to be recycled or sold. However, it’s important to note that when you are doing to this type of challenge, that it is also a mindful practice. Please remember that there are many options to get healthily rid of your stuff. You may have a friend who needs a sweater or a homeless person who needs shoes. You may want to sell your favorite dress that you paid way too much money, and you can’t seem to part with it. Maybe the dress will be sold to someone who wants to look good for their big day. It is a much better use of the item rather than sitting in your closet.

So, remember to repurpose, donate, sell or recycle your items. The worse thing to do is throw them out because they will end up in a landfill and then it becomes everyone’s problem.

Finally, try to have fun with the challenge. If you truly love an item, don’t throw it out for the sake of the challenge or the status quo. This exercise intends to make your home a representation of you and your family.

The first week was pretty easy for me. Generally, I know the stuff I need to get rid of that has been sitting around my home.

Below are the items that I am getting rid for the first week of the challenge, most of these items are going to be donated or sold. The coat with my going to the NYCares Coat organization.


Day One


Day Two


Day Three


Day Four


Day Five


Day Six


Day Seven


So, that is it for the week. What items can you get rid of in your home? Are you happy with what you have in your home? Please let me know if you are doing something similar or are interested in the challenge. Just leave a comment below, follow or like this post.

Cheers!

#minimalist #minimalistic #minimalista #minimalistics #minimaliststyle #minimalistdesign #minimalistart #minimaliste #minimalistwallet #minimalistphotography #minimalists #minimalistzen #minimalisticdesign #minimalistlifestyle #minimalistliving #minimalistlife #30daychallenge #home #staystrong #family #step1 #2019 #30daychallenge #30daychallengeabs #30daychallenges #30daychallenge #30daydeclutterchallenge
Featured

How to Recognize A Toxic Person

For most of us, we like to assume in the best of people. Unfortunately, that can get us in trouble. Toxic people do exist, and chances are we’ve met one. Sometimes they might not even realize they’re causing harm to others. Other times, they are fully aware of the power they hold over other people and actively aim to do damage.

Fortunately, there are warning signs, so please be mindful when reading this post. It could be information in this piece to help you understand a difficult person in your life.

Toxic people play the victim, they are in a constant state of their tragic world. The people who struggle with the victim mentality doesn’t think they have power over their lives and they blame other people in the circumstances. This can be from being unhappy to avoid taking responsibility for their lives. Playing the victim can give someone the power to control another person. These type of people seem to prey on your feelings of compassion and goodwill. They usually do to see how much you are willing to surrender to make them happy. You will not make them happy and will end up wasting your time and energy.

A classic victim attitude is when they flip a situation to make it about them. They put themselves down while defensively blaming you for their life situation.

If you have caught someone lying several times about things that generally are ordinary, you might be dealing is a pathological liar.

Pathological liars are someone who continuously lies to protect their image. They are masters of manipulation. They tend to be impulsive people with a need to fascinate others. They might not always have a purpose to why they are lying.

The pathological liar can leave you feeling frustrated, misguided, and neurotic. It might even make you question your rationality. Pathological lying can also be a symptom of more severe problems of mental illness. Please ask for advice from a professional should you suspect mental illness.

Emotional abuse can be one of the most grievous forms of savagery. It creates marks that can last longer than physical ones and it’s challenging to detect. This type of toxic person can leave you with depression, demoralization, self-blame, and very low self-esteem.

Emotional abuse can be passive aggressive behavior, shouting, depreciating, judgment and be accusatory to your actions.

Certain people project their vulnerabilities and insecurities onto another person in the form of anger and bullying. They are ineffective of considering limits. They can’t process their own toxicity. They deal with it by putting it on to someone else. They will try to break your will. They need to make someone feel small, so they can feel big.

You are usually walking on eggshells around this person. The person can routinely mock you and dismiss your beliefs, thoughts, and feelings. They will blame you for the problems in your relationship and tell you that is it your fault. If you find yourself in an emotionally abusive situation, please distance yourself. You are worth more than what you are being told.

Toxic people can be master manipulators, and they are smart about hiding their true intentions. They try to control people whether directly or indirectly. They need something from you and will work hard to make sure they get it. They might be utterly incapable of feeling remorse and recognizing their bad behavior.

A controlling person needs to know where you are at all times. They like to micromanage your work. They will try to pull you away from your loved ones and friends. They will try to keep you for themselves. If you are dealing with this type of personality, talk to them and if that doesn’t get through to them, gracious leave or distance yourself.

I mentioned a couple of times about toxic people and how we should try not to have them in our lives. A toxic person doesn’t have to be toxic to everyone, they could be using you. You may also find that you may fit into one of these definitions of a toxic person. Before you dump someone or truly start to doubt your existence, I would recommend talking to people and researching before many any decisions.

We all deserve to live in harmony. If you find yourself in one of
these situations, please take the necessary steps to make your life better.

Points of Reference:
Dealing With Toxic People You Can’t Just Cut Out Forever: https://www.scarymommy.com/dealing-with-toxic-people/

8 Strategies for Dealing With the Toxic People in Your Life:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201612/8-strategies-dealing-the-toxic-people-in-your-life

How Emotionally Intelligent People Handle Toxic People: http://www.talentsmart.com/articles/How-Emotionally-Intelligent-People-Handle-Toxic-People-1028629190-p-1.html

Signs of a Toxic Person and How to Cut Those Toxic People out of Your Life: https://theartofcharm.com/empowerment/cut-toxic-people-life/

7 Types of Toxic People and How to Spot Them: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/toxic-people/

#selflove #psychopath #survivor #boundaries #selfcare #narcissism #divorce #nocontact #healing #npd #empath #fakelove #anxiety #domesticabuse #love #liar #cheater #narcissisticabusesurvivor #cptsd #narcissisticmother #depression #fraud #toxicrelationship #traumabonding #loveyourself #pathologicalliar #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #awareness #motivationalquotes #recovery

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A Simple Exercise in Gratitude

I am no stranger to anxiety and depression. I have suffered from it for most of my life. Nowadays, I am a little open-minded to the possibility that I can change my mood or at least the view of my day by doing a simple exercise.

It seems that in today’s world, being negative is sort of taking over. There seems to be more and more things that are not acceptable, and there are other things that are acceptable but entirely unattainable for the average person. So, I hope this practice can help you and your outlook.

This exercise is designed to help you think more positively and hopefully be able to help you deal with the negative things a little bit better. It sounds easy, but can be challenging for those stuck in a depressed or anxious state.

You just start by creating a gratitude list each day.

Each day, write down the things that you appreciate in life. You may start off great, but you’ll have a day when nothing seems excellent. That’s where your mind is going to kick in and will help you find the appreciation of the smaller things.

An example for me would be the love of my family, the support of my friends, having a home, and the ability to eat good food. In a few days, it may be harder, so I have to start to look at my current surroundings like, my dog under my foot as I type or this warm cup of coffee that tastes amazing. By consistently practicing this, it helps make me feel good and helps to set up my day a little bit better.

Now you might think that sounds weird, especially if you are currently anxious or depressed, but that’s kind of how it works. I really have started to appreciate the tiny little things. It gives me a moment to get out of my head or opens me up to get help.

It does help me to think more positively and to really start appreciating everything in my life. When you are in a mood, the negative thoughts are a lot more powerful than positive ones. It’s so easy to think of something negative. This exercise, allows your mind to tell your brain, “Ok, you do not like it but, here at least there is something positive in the situation.” You want to keep trying to put these positive thoughts into your mind until they start to become second nature in your daily practice.

I wanted to share this little exercise because it seems to help me. It does take time and patience, but try not to be hard on yourself. Gratitude is something most of us don’t practice because we are stuck in the past or future of being without. This exercise allows me to pay attention to the moment and can help me change my thoughts. I hope it does the same for you.

What kind of practices do you do to help change your mood?

#gratitude #love #life #peace #grateful #happiness #blessed #joy #meditation #motivation #yoga #inspiration #nature #family #happy #selflove #positivevibes #thankful #spirituality #fitness #believe #faith #mindfulness #goodvibes #travel #energy #bhfyp #depression #anxiety #needhelp #tips #gradtitudelist