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Living with A Dysmorphic Disorder – What’s Going On and How to Cope?

I want to discuss image dysmorphia.

I’m struggling with it.

My distorted image makes it hard for others to give me proper advice. No matter how many times someone tells me that I am not the way I see myself, I still see a different person in the mirror.

My “friend” in the mirror sees all of my flaws. She also hides my clear image. I literally can’t see my real self unless I give myself a side-eye. Then, my “friend” will quickly distort the picture before I can fully process what I just saw. It’s frustrating to know you can’t see yourself, but your own mind will not let you change your distortion.

Sometimes, I wonder if I can see any bit of the reality that others see. Sometimes, I wonder if they are wrong, and my truth is right. Sometimes, I just know I am right. Sometimes, I know I am wrong.

When I take photos of myself, I look at them in disgust. I see flaws in every part of my body and mind. This leads to thoughts of self-deprecation. When I question myself, my “friend” hisses to shut-up because I am the one that knows nothing. I am stupid. I sometimes ignore her, other times, I fight her, but most of the time, I cower away too afraid to lose another battle.

I can look in the mirror, and I can see many things that I hate about myself. My “friend” makes me believe that everyone can see what I see and hate me as much as I hate myself. I can unconsciously (thanks to my “friend”) seek out specific people who with 100% certainty will validate what she has been telling me. She can’t be wrong if other people believe it too. It is a cycle that is tricky to break.

No matter how much I protest or try to protect myself from her evil thoughts. She is there, waiting for me to be weak. She comes in like a savior but leaves me as a sinner. I hate her, but she is me, so I love her too. My self-image is split and shattered. I live with this for most of my life.

So, there are so many ways my story could have gone. My path is twisted and hilly. I still rely on her to tell me, “like it is” when I don’t know the answers. She always comforts me with her evil banter.

However, it has gotten better. I can stand my ground and have won a few battles. The war still rages, and my reality will forever be distorted, but I go on. With every battle won, I hope to be closer to my truth.

Here are some ways that help me win my battles.

Get Help / Seek Out Positive People

When you see yourself as an awful person, you attract people who think the same about you. Try to find a couple of good people in your life and be honest with them. Tell them that you are trying to conquer a demon and need a supportive friend. This can be difficult at the beginning because your judgment in others may be off. If you can afford it or have the resources, seek professional help. They will help you learn the tools and guide you into accurately finding the right type of people that you need to surround yourself to maintain a healthy environment.

Say at least 3 things you love about yourself.

Many people struggle with this and only focus on the negatives. Sometimes, you have to stand for 30 minutes before you can come up with something. However, this is what you need to do.

Look at yourself in a mirror.

I avoid mirrors as often as I can whenever I look in the mirror I just think negative thoughts. Now, I try to focus on other things apart from what my “friend” thinks. It helps me to stop thinking so negatively about myself.

Look at yourself as though you are someone else.

I’m the type of person who often sees the good in everyone. I can look at someone and instantly see good qualities about them. I realized that I had to see the good in me. I had to see the positives about myself even if that means looking at myself as though I am another person.

I can look at others and think how great they are as a person. It helps me to realize that people look and act differently. We are all beautiful and unique.

So, why can I be the same too?

Stop comparing yourself to others.

Comparing yourself to others, you first have to learn to love yourself. You have to see how you look genuinely. Sometimes, it is tough to do. Especially when I feel that person has everything, and I have nothing to show. I start to turn on the negative faucet and pour it all over myself.

When I catch myself doing this, I turn it off. I stop looking. I stop trying to understand why they are so “great.” I try to focus on myself and what makes me “great” or what “in” nature is beautiful at that moment. One of these two mental exercises does pull me out of my head.

So, these are some exercises to help me to learn to love myself. You will be able to say good things about yourself. That initial haze of feeling stupid and vain will start to fade out. This is just your “friend” trying to stop you from seeing your truth. You will begin to pick up the habit of counteracting some of your thoughts and distortions.

If you spend most of your time, your thoughts and your energy on your body shape and flawed mind, you won’t indeed be happy. It takes so much energy and time out of your life. You need to let go of the obsessive thoughts and learn to love yourself and to live life.

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31-Day Challenge: Great Journaling Prompts for Self Love and Self Care

In today’s mostly digital, paperless reality, the thought of the journal might evoke ideas of hidden young crushes or something that you “used to do.”

However, why keep a journal?

As you get older, the benefits of maintaining the journal become stronger. The journal will be valuable — documenting what you did and where you were. Examples include cases, where you want to remember what you thought on a particular day or event. Not to mention, it will help with critical thinking and your anxiety. It has helped mine.

So, in July, I will write one prompt each day. I will ask Siri to pick a number from 1 to 31 and then write about the prompt related to the number that she has announced. It is reasonably straight forward. I hope you join me on my journey. I would love you hear what you have to say. So please, send me your blog link relating to this challenge.

Below are the challenge’s writing prompts for July.

  1. How have you grown this year?
  2. What’s holding you back?
  3. Describe a scene from your day.
  4. How can you give yourself a break today?
  5. List & draw things that make you happy.
  6. When in your life, did you feel your best?
  7. What habits & actions did you do to feel amazing?
  8. Where was your headspace right now?
  9. What’s on my to-do list today?
  10. What’s one positive change I can make in my daily life?
  11. What good habit do you want to begin this month?
  12. Going forward, how can you commit to loving yourself every day?
  13. What would your life be like if you didn’t have stress?
  14. How would you describe yourself, affectionately, to a stranger?
  15. What things make you feel bad, but you find yourself doing them anyway?
  16. Make a list of 10 things that make you smile.
  17. What are your 10 worst habits, and how do they impact your life?
  18. When was the last time you indulged yourself and how?
  19. Write about something you do well.
  20. What’s something that you need to get rid of?
  21. Whom would you invite to an imaginary luncheon, and why?
  22. What do you love right now and how it makes you feel.
  23. Where do you want to travel?
  24. Who is someone you admire, and what are their qualities?
  25. Take a selfie just as you are. Write a description of your face using loving words.
  26. What are your ten best talents?
  27. What friendship that you’ve had was the most meaningful?
  28. What is the unique thing about you? Do you like to hide it or let it show?
  29. What is your superpower?
  30. What is one thing that you regret and why?
  31. Write a bucket list.
Have you loved yourself today?

This challenge is cheap and is great for your mental health and can easily be added to your daily routine. Try to add it into your morning or evening practice so you can start to make it a habit. I usually keep this list by my bed. I’ll use a prompt and write in my journal each morning when I wake up.

Writing for a few minutes every day doesn’t sound so scary, does it?

The trick is that all of this adds up and promote healthy well-being.

I hope you found this journal prompts for self-care useful.

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Holding Yourself Back

Tip: Look for a language that places you as a victim. “No one understands” or “always happens to me bad” is a red flag.

If you are thinking of yourself as a victim, take a deep breath and then make a step to improve your life. The best way to deal with self-doubt is to test your forehead on your forethoughts. Your brain will have a slight difference of observation as you confirm that your mind is capable and having checked your doubts will develop your mind.

You cannot expect to know everything about yourself when you don’t try. If you think of yourself as an expert in something, it’s easy to assume that you know everything. You have to be open to change. Decluttering your mind opens you up to that change and to new possibilities. You can learn from others’ and your mistakes and make better decisions for yourself. It’s a good idea to keep your mind free of all the things you don’t need and just focus on what you do need to be content with life.

These are some suggestions helping to get rid of any clutter in your mind that may be holding you back. If you are not sure where to start, try these tips:

  1. Find a place that feels comfortable so you can be opened to change and find an intention.
  2. Find someone who has been there before and knows how to deal with it.
  3. Take some time to think about what you want out of life and then find a way to make it happen.
  4. Find a hobby that makes you happy and doesn’t require much effort. This is a great way to keep yourself busy while also keeping your mind clear and focused.
  5. Do something that makes you feel good about yourself and your work even if it’s just for a few minutes.
  6. Take a walk around your neighborhood or park.
  7. Find a quiet spot in your house where you can sit and meditate.
  8. Write down all the things you need to do, and list them on a piece of paper in order of importance.
  9. Get rid of anything that distracts you from your work-related tasks by being mindful of the actions you take before you start your work. You will be surprised just how much mess you have in your mind before you even begin an important task.

How do you protect your mind? Find your intention or purpose for your moment or day. Focus on what needs to be done to help get some of the load off your mind. The intention is an integral part of your life, and we all need to be aware of what it’s doing to us.

When you’re in a mental state of chaos, there is no way out but through the mind. If you want to get rid of clutter, then stop thinking about it and start focusing on the present moment or your intention. Don’t think about how much time you have left or if you can’t get it done. Just do it.

This will help you feel more at peace with yourself and your surroundings. I’m sure you’ve heard this before: ” the only thing that matters is what happens next. So make the most of it! Don’t worry about tomorrow, just live now!”.

If we will focus on how we use our self to organize your thoughts and create a life of mindfulness and relaxation, peace, peace, and freedom.

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What I ate for dinner this week

I am not a chef, but I like to make food. I love being able to sit with my family and have a moment to regroup, talk or even watch a movie. It’s the family time in my home. I feel like the outside world is on hold while I enjoy my moments with the people I love.

Sometimes I eat quite a unique blends of foods and spices. I’d instead do that then let food go to waste. It also sparks creativity in me when the world can be so cold. These are the best thing about dinners for me.

What about you?

Penne Pasta with Pesto Tomato Sauce
Roasted Chicken with Carrots and Quinoa
Sausage and Peppers with White Rice
Potato Soup (Minus Liquid — I know, I hate soup though) with Garlic Bread
Stuffed Zucchini with White Rice
Greek Salad Mixed with other salad stuff and French Fries
Penne Pasta with Broccoli and Chicken

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Low-Key Week of Clothes

“Fashion fades, style is eternal.” – Yves Saint-Laurent

It’s winter in Brooklyn and unless you work in the fashion industry, you probably are not wearing your best clothes in fear of the snow, salt, and cold. My job is a little unique because I get to work from home or be outside walking (a lot). My fashion is pretty low-key both I thought it would be fun to share my week with you.

It’s winter in Brooklyn, and unless you work in the fashion industry, you probably are not wearing your best clothes in fear of the snow, salt, and cold. I want an outfit that is comfy, cozy and casual. My job is a little unique because I get to work from home or be outside walking (a lot). My fashion is pretty low-key both I thought it would be fun to share my week with you in clothes.

I don’t own very much in the way of clothes. I have a small wardrobe. I don’t need very much and I usually, wait for the season or things to worn. I guess this is an excellent way to see a low-key fashion minimalist style.

Let me know your style in the comments below:

Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 5
Laundry Day mean Pajama Day!

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30 Day Declutter Challenge – Week 3 – Kind of?

I decided to do the 30-day decluttered challenge. In this challenge, you have 30 days to declutter items from your home. In this challenge, the day of the challenge pairs with the number of items you have to get rid of, so one day 1, you pick one item to get rid of and on day 30, you get rid of thirty pieces. So, in total, you will be getting rid of 460 things.

It has been a journey for me to downsize my material possessions. I’ve been doing it for over two years and still have a lot to go. What I want in my home are items that bring me joy and less work.

I am still sticking with the theme of the “30-Day Challenge,” but really my goal is to get rid of 460 items. It sounds like a cheat, but I don’t think so because it’s my things and my journey.

I am trying to be thoughtful in this journey because the worse thing I can do it totally get rid of my stuff and then it ends up in the dump. I don’t want to me that person. I have found some places on the internet and on Brooklyn that recycle your items or actually use the items you donate. I have also been known to give a homeless person a pair of shoes or a sweatshirt or two if they need it. There is always a way not to waste. At least, that is what I hope for in this process.

So, below are the items that I am decarding this week. I hope some of these things will be helpful to others. Some of the items are things that I really need to get rid of because they are old or empty. Let me know if you are on a similar journey, and I would love to see what you are decluttering too.

Also to remind you that you should have fun with the challenge. If you truly love an item, don’t throw it out for the sake of the challenge or the status quo. This exercise intends to make your home a representation of you and your family.

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Sunday in Dumbo in Pictures

Today is a very nice day. It’s a contrast to what last weeks frigid temperatures did to my body. I am still thawing out from the ice bone chill. I decided to take some photos. I hope you enjoy them.

Dumbo is near the Hudson River in Brooklyn, NY.

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