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How to Make Co-Parenting Work

Co-parenting between the separated parents means that both have to share the responsibilities of children’s upbringing. Parents, who decide to do this, must cooperate to make it work. Following the co-parenting plan can be a
good start. However, saying it is easier than doing it. Problems will always rise especially in the case where parents haven’t resolved their internal conflicts.

The most common problem arising is that children keep seeing the ongoing battle between parents after the separation process. It’s unfortunate for the children because it will harm them psychologically. If you experience this problem, use a holistic co-parenting – which consider the arrangement of the co-parenting and the emotional aspect of all parties involved – to solve it. Here are the steps to do it:

Lose your fear
The reason why you keep fighting with your ex is that you still hold pain, as the result of the separation, within you. The pain derives from fear or trauma.

Can you see it now?

So fear or trauma is your conflict’s source. Now that you’ve found it, you have to lose it.

Here are the simple steps to do it:

  • Let all your fear out by writing them down.
  • Deal all your fear one by one.

For example, you’re afraid that you can’t handle the car’s matter which your ex usually did it for you. To lose your fear, go to the mechanic and learn how to deal with it. Once you manage to do it, you’ll gain confidence and fear no more.

Remember past fear and how you’d overcome i

This path down memory lane will make you think, “Hey! I’d overcome my fear. So I’ll be able to deal with this separation too.” This thought will strengthen you.

Cry out loud

Crying will help you in the process of losing fear. After that, you’ll feel relieved and see clearly. Thus, you’ll build positive communication with your ex who will likely give positive feedback for it. Once you do this, you have started a healthy co-parenting.

Ask your friends and family’s support

The process of letting out fear and afterward will take times. You’ll go through the ups and downs of the process. During the time, it’s better to ask for support/help from your friends and family.

As an outsider, they’ll be able to see your problem rationally. Therefore, at times you feel down, they can make you better and help you back to the track where you need to be to do healthy co-parenting.

However, if you think that your friends or family can’t help you due to whatever reasons, get the experts’ help.

Discuss the co-parenting in detail and make the win-win solutions agreement. Conflicts can also happen because of other aspects of co-parenting which are the kind of parenting style which you and your ex use in raising children and the financial matter. Therefore it’s important to discuss both in details.

During the discussion, let out all your thoughts of how you want the arrangement to be. Let your ex do the same. If both of you have differences, find the win-win solutions. So no one will be dissatisfied. Therefore no conflicts arise in the future.

Then make the agreement proved by the court. It’s an important step to do in a holistic co-parenting. This way you, your ex and most importantly your child will get all the deserved rights legally. In the case of unwanted events happen, the law will protect you.

Get me time

The next process you need to go through is that you must get your own me time. Spare time to do enjoying activities such as doing your hobbies, hanging out with your friends, meeting new people, traveling, etc. Do it while your child is with your ex.

Doing fun activities will refresh and relax you. You’ll get positive energy which will make you happy. Suggest your ex to do the same while your child is with you. That way, your ex will be happy too. The act of supporting your ex in term related to co-parenting is necessary also.

Because if your ex is in a healthy emotional state as you do, both of you can make your child happy as well. And this is the core of a holistic co-parenting.

Evaluate the co-parenting you’ve done

If conflicts still happen after all the efforts you’ve done. It’s time to evaluate the co-parenting arrangement. Asking the experts’ help is one thing you and your ex can do. They can give an objective evaluation, help both of you to figure out what’s wrong, and give alternative suggestions. After this evaluation, both of you may have to make a new decision about the co-parenting and repeat the above steps.

If conflicts still happen after all the efforts you’ve done. It’s time to evaluate the co-parenting arrangement. Asking the experts’ help is one thing you and your ex can do. They can give an objective evaluation, help both of you to figure out what’s wrong, and give alternative suggestions. After this evaluation, both of you may have to make a new decision about the co-parenting and repeat the above steps.

It seems tedious to do so but parenting – co-parenting or not – is a life’s time work. Just keep in mind that it’s for your beloved child. That way you’ll feel the hard work of co-parenting is worth to do.

#coparenting #parenting #divorce #blendedfamily #love #family #dad #children #kids #mom #son #marriage #stepparents #stepmom #daughter #bonusmom #stepson #familycourt #stepdaughter #stepkids #stepparenting #child #stepparent #bonuskids #bonusdaughter #bonusfamily #relationship #stepchildren

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Forgiveness: You Have a Choice

Forgiveness is a powerful act in the human psyche. If we continue to think in an unforgiving way, we will always have resentment. If we are continually having angry and resentful thoughts, we will never be satisfied and find pleasure.

When we forgive, we are excusing ourselves. If we hold on to our negative emotions and try the justify our negative processes as the way out, we will be stuck in our own prison of shame, anger, and doubt. It is very telling in those situations that we believe we are trying our best to get out, but nothing is working. If you are feeling stuck, maybe you should ask if there is something that you have not forgiven.

When you do not move willingly with life in the present moment, it usually indicates you are leading from the past. Holding on to unforgiveness will consume the present moment. It’s only in the present that can you create your future. Your thoughts and words are powerful, so to not forgive means that you will be bringing your negative emotions into your future self.

When you blame another person for how you feel, give your own power away. You are putting the security for your emotions to someone else.

There is a difference between forgiveness and acceptance. Forgiving someone does not mean that you condone their behavior. The act of forgiveness takes place in your mind. It really has nothing to do with the other person. The truth of forgiveness lies in placing ourselves free from carrying the pain. It is a way of releasing yourself from a negative mindset.

Forgiveness does not mean allowing the painful actions of another to continue in your life. Sometimes forgiveness means letting go. When you forgive and take a stand to your emotions, it helps to set a healthy boundary. When you let it go, you free up some headspace to think of thoughts that make you feel stable. This new headspace may allow you to pay attention to the present moment and give you enough room to create a more positive construct for the future.

You have a choice.

#forgiveness #peace #love #spiritual #life #believe #hope #mindfulpractice #forgive #soul #compassion #wisdom #spirituality #trust #mind #worry #meditation #calm #faithful #destiny #guidance #meditate #thankful

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30 Day Declutter Challenge – Week 1

For January, I decided to do the 30-day decluttered challenge. In this challenge, you have 30 days to declutter items from your home. In this challenge, the day of the challenge pairs with the number of items you have to get rid of, so one day 1, you pick one item to get rid of and on day 30, you get rid of thirty pieces. So, in total, you will be getting rid of 460 things.

It has been a journey for me to downsize my material possessions. I’ve been doing it for over two years and still have a lot to go. What I want in my home are items that bring me joy and less work. So, I hope that this challenge will help me appreciate the things and also recognize the things that I don’t need. Each week, I will post pictures of the items that I will be getting rid of in my home.

For the most part, the items that I discard are going to be recycled or sold. However, it’s important to note that when you are doing to this type of challenge, that it is also a mindful practice. Please remember that there are many options to get healthily rid of your stuff. You may have a friend who needs a sweater or a homeless person who needs shoes. You may want to sell your favorite dress that you paid way too much money, and you can’t seem to part with it. Maybe the dress will be sold to someone who wants to look good for their big day. It is a much better use of the item rather than sitting in your closet.

So, remember to repurpose, donate, sell or recycle your items. The worse thing to do is throw them out because they will end up in a landfill and then it becomes everyone’s problem.

Finally, try to have fun with the challenge. If you truly love an item, don’t throw it out for the sake of the challenge or the status quo. This exercise intends to make your home a representation of you and your family.

The first week was pretty easy for me. Generally, I know the stuff I need to get rid of that has been sitting around my home.

Below are the items that I am getting rid for the first week of the challenge, most of these items are going to be donated or sold. The coat with my going to the NYCares Coat organization.


Day One


Day Two


Day Three


Day Four


Day Five


Day Six


Day Seven


So, that is it for the week. What items can you get rid of in your home? Are you happy with what you have in your home? Please let me know if you are doing something similar or are interested in the challenge. Just leave a comment below, follow or like this post.

Cheers!

#minimalist #minimalistic #minimalista #minimalistics #minimaliststyle #minimalistdesign #minimalistart #minimaliste #minimalistwallet #minimalistphotography #minimalists #minimalistzen #minimalisticdesign #minimalistlifestyle #minimalistliving #minimalistlife #30daychallenge #home #staystrong #family #step1 #2019 #30daychallenge #30daychallengeabs #30daychallenges #30daychallenge #30daydeclutterchallenge
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A Simple Exercise in Gratitude

I am no stranger to anxiety and depression. I have suffered from it for most of my life. Nowadays, I am a little open-minded to the possibility that I can change my mood or at least the view of my day by doing a simple exercise.

It seems that in today’s world, being negative is sort of taking over. There seems to be more and more things that are not acceptable, and there are other things that are acceptable but entirely unattainable for the average person. So, I hope this practice can help you and your outlook.

This exercise is designed to help you think more positively and hopefully be able to help you deal with the negative things a little bit better. It sounds easy, but can be challenging for those stuck in a depressed or anxious state.

You just start by creating a gratitude list each day.

Each day, write down the things that you appreciate in life. You may start off great, but you’ll have a day when nothing seems excellent. That’s where your mind is going to kick in and will help you find the appreciation of the smaller things.

An example for me would be the love of my family, the support of my friends, having a home, and the ability to eat good food. In a few days, it may be harder, so I have to start to look at my current surroundings like, my dog under my foot as I type or this warm cup of coffee that tastes amazing. By consistently practicing this, it helps make me feel good and helps to set up my day a little bit better.

Now you might think that sounds weird, especially if you are currently anxious or depressed, but that’s kind of how it works. I really have started to appreciate the tiny little things. It gives me a moment to get out of my head or opens me up to get help.

It does help me to think more positively and to really start appreciating everything in my life. When you are in a mood, the negative thoughts are a lot more powerful than positive ones. It’s so easy to think of something negative. This exercise, allows your mind to tell your brain, “Ok, you do not like it but, here at least there is something positive in the situation.” You want to keep trying to put these positive thoughts into your mind until they start to become second nature in your daily practice.

I wanted to share this little exercise because it seems to help me. It does take time and patience, but try not to be hard on yourself. Gratitude is something most of us don’t practice because we are stuck in the past or future of being without. This exercise allows me to pay attention to the moment and can help me change my thoughts. I hope it does the same for you.

What kind of practices do you do to help change your mood?

#gratitude #love #life #peace #grateful #happiness #blessed #joy #meditation #motivation #yoga #inspiration #nature #family #happy #selflove #positivevibes #thankful #spirituality #fitness #believe #faith #mindfulness #goodvibes #travel #energy #bhfyp #depression #anxiety #needhelp #tips #gradtitudelist

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Too Much Pride

It’s happening again,

my sense of pride is too high.

I don’t even know how to tell you a simple “why.”

I hold it inside hoping all my mediation will give me some light.

I do not cry.

Well, maybe in the middle of the night.

It’s happening again,

that secret wish that I would magically die.

I do not want it,

not death.

I just want relief from these thoughts in my head.

It’s happening again,

that fake smile and tone-deaf laugh

You do not want to know my feelings

You will have none of that

It’s better to acknowledge my muted eyes as real.

They are not bright.

It’s happening again,

my need for darkness.

You won’t understand.

You see it as a weakness.

It’s better to pretend that it’s just tiredness.

It’s not,

you can see it,

I am worthless.

It’s happening again. 

I am too quiet.

You don’t mind.

You don’t hear me anyway.

It’s better to think I am just busy.

I am not,

it’s a silent scream.

Please help me!

I have too much pride.

You’ll never know why.

#Depressionpoem #poetry #poet #depression #poetsofig #screenshot #firstdraft #poems #poet #depressed #depressioning #anxiety #depressionedits #mentalillness #fightingmentalillness #pathetic #loser #worthless #hopeless #ugly #freak #hurt #lost #suicidal #suicidalpoem #sucidalquotes #heartbroken #heartbreak #lonely #quotes

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2019 – I am Ready and Here is My List!

I decided to list my goals and joy prompts for 2019. I believe I am already working towards these goals, but they are a reminder that I am at the next leave of progress. My joy prompts a list of items that I would like to do. They are there when I feel stuck or want more out of a day, week or month. It is a great reminder just to enjoy life.

Goals for 2019:

  • Four Months of No Spend in 2019
  • Monthly Check-In with Hubby (Goals to Actually Work Together)
  • Spend at least 1 whole day per week with my daughter
  • No social media 30 minutes before bed (alarms work great)
  • No phone for 1 hour in the morning (timers are fantastic)
  • Be in bed at 11pm, Lights out by 12
  • Journal for Ten Minutes Each Day
  • Pay at $12,000 off (interest is too high)
  • Spend 1 night with my husband a week (No Interruptions)
  • Call, Email, Text, or Meet at least one person per day
  • Try to find ways to work online (shop, blog, freelance) Continue and Research ways to make money in a smart way
  • Build a solid client list for Pet Care
  • 10 minutes of Cleaning each Morning
  • Complete Two: 30-day Declutter Challenge
  • Check in with Ex at least once a week about my daughter and discuss any challenges
  • No clothes buying unless needed
  • Fix my Teeth ASAP

Things To Prompt Joy:

  • Read A Book from Cover to Cover While Marking It Up
  • Game Night
  • Drawing
  • Color in a Book
  • Taking the Ferry
  • Fruit Picking
  • Email A Friend
  • Respond to A Friend
  • Go Horseback Riding
  • Take a Class
  • A weekend away
  • A trip to See Family
  • Love Notes
  • Spend a day taking photos
  • Going to the Movie
  • Seeing the Sunrise
  • Seeing the Sunset
  • Listen to Audible Books (learn a subject)
  • Brush up with Spanish
  • Take care of plants
  • Sit in a coffee shop and read
  • Take A Yoga Class
  • Take a train ride to Upstate NY
  • Family Trip
  • A weekend indoors without worrying about money, work or entertaining
  • Try a new recipe
  • Connect with someone I haven’t been in contact in a while
  • Try a new food
  • Research someone I admire
  • Being Honest
  • Play Roblox while talking to daughter while on the phone
  • Make Sandwiches and Hand Them Out to Homeless People
  • Write Lists
  • Thrift Shopping
  • Hug Someone
  • Dusting
  • Swings
  • Sitting Still
  • Mediation
  • Cooking Dinner
  • Napping
  • A call to my sister
  • Send my grandmother a care package
  • Write a letter to a friend or family member
  • Music and Wine
  • Laundry
  • Being Home Early
  • Smile at the Sun
  • Get a Massage
  • Being Heard
  • Researching Better Business Practices
  • Excel Sheets
  • A new computer
  • Trying Something New
  • Creating a vlog
  • Creating a blog
  • Live life like a marathon (I work better this way)
  • Listen to a podcast
  • Go on a boat ride
  • Destroy a Book
  • Say yes with something I want to do
  • Say No and stick to it
  • Trust My Gut (it seems to work better than my head)
  • No work day
  • Notecards with inspiration
  • Todo list
  • One in / one out Rule
  • Walk Through Central Park
  • Cook a meal with my daughter
  • Doodle
  • Cuddling with Charlotte
  • Think about nothing
  • A quiet space
  • Classic Rock
  • Old Country and Folk Music
  • Showing Gratitude
  • Cleaning a cluttered area
  • Rearranging a space
  • Cookies
  • Work at my own pace
  • Accomplishing a goal
  • Making the bed
  • Exploring a Neighborhood
  • Drinking Water
  • Smoothies
  • Cuddling with a dog
  • Going over a todo list
  • When everyone is happy
  • Spa Day
  • Growing out my Hair
  • No phone days
  • Writing
  • Painting My Nails
  • Doing One Thing at a time
  • Paying Off Debt
  • Brushing a bush with my Hand
  • Setting a Timer
  • Talking to a friend
  • Hearing Laughter
  • Seeing my daughter’s smile
  • Putting on Makeup
  • Getting Dressed-up
  • Having a Lazy Day
  • Skincare Day
  • Showers
  • Lotion
  • The moon
  • Telling Someone why they inspire me
  • Holding the door for someone
  • Giving a little gift to someone
  • Hearing my daughter’s breath
  • Practicing Gratitude
  • Looking up and smiling
  • Cutting Paper
  • Not giving up
  • This is a quick list, and this post is to keep me accountable. What things do you have a plan in 2019?

#resolution #2019goals #goalsetting #joy #happiness #entrepreneur #nutrition #healthylifestyle #inspiration #gains #business #getoutside #lifestyle #dreambig #eatclean #life #selflove #hardwork #training #gethealthy #exercise #successmindset #muscle #nevergiveup #motivationalquotes #mindset #family

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Healthy Pup = Healthy Humans…So, Let’s Get Into It!

Cаring fоr a реt gоеѕ bеуоnd thе соnсерt of mеrе оwnеrѕhiр. You ѕhоuld view your dоg not only аѕ a possession but also as a соmраniоn, friеnd аnd beloved mеmbеr of your fаmilу. It is imроrtаnt to dеvеlор a hеаlthу hаbit for уоur dоg thrоugh activities thаt will not only bring you сlоѕеr tоgеthеr but аlѕо еnѕurе уоu and уоur pet ѕtауѕ ѕtrоng, fit аnd асtivе. Kеер rеаding fоr ѕоmе grеаt ѕuggеѕtiоnѕ on асtivitiеѕ you can dо with your dog that will mаintаin a hеаlthу hеаrt, build bоndѕ, аnd inѕtill diѕсiрlinе.

Dаilу Walks

It gоеѕ withоut ѕауing thаt уоur dоg nееdѕ dаilу еxеrсiѕе. However, оnе оf thе most significant lapses dog оwnеrѕ аdmit to is not wаlking their dog on a dаilу bаѕiѕ. We’ve all bееn thеrе with excuses like – it’ѕ thе еnd оf a lоng dау, it lооkѕ likе it might rаin, wе haven’t еvеn ѕtаrtеd to сооk dinner уеt, etc. Then wе dесidе wе’ll tаkе thеm for a аn еxtrа-lоng walk tomorrow, which аlmоѕt nеvеr hарреnѕ. Thе thing is уоu arе nоt оnlу сhеаting уоur dоg out оf the hеаlth bеnеfitѕ оf daily еxеrсiѕе, you’re сhеаting уоurѕеlf. It’ѕ widely accepted thаt walking fоr juѕt 30 minutеѕ a dау hеlрѕ уоu lose bоdу fat, imрrоvеѕ your fitness lеvеlѕ аnd аѕѕiѕtѕ in avoiding аll ѕоrtѕ of health issues like heart disease, type 2 diаbеtеѕ, аnd оѕtеороrоѕiѕ. Bу intrоduсing оnе or twо ѕhоrt wаlkѕ into уоur dаilу ѕсhеdulе уоu are giving both уоurѕеlf and your dоg a gift of better health.

Have Rеgulаr Chесk-Uрѕ

As pet раrеntѕ, wе wаnt our pets to livе the most prolonged, happiest аnd hеаlthiеѕt lives роѕѕiblе. Regular сhесkuрѕ аrе аn essential раrt оf keeping аnу pet healthy. In fасt, thе Amеriсаn Veterinary Mеdiсаl Aѕѕосiаtiоn аnd thе Amеriсаn Animаl Hоѕрitаl Aѕѕосiаtiоn’ѕ preventive саrе guidelines ѕау thаt dоgѕ and саtѕ ѕhоuld viѕit thе veterinarian at lеаѕt аnnuаllу. If it has been over a year since your dogs check, dоn’t wаit until your dog iѕ ѕiсk to gо to the vet. The ѕаmе, оf соurѕе, is true fоr уоur оwn рhуѕiсаl аnd mеntаl health. You need to be healthy to live a productive life with your pet.

Get To Training

Trаining рrосеdurеѕ done bеtwееn уоu аnd уоur реt is a wоndеrful bоnding еxреriеnсе, but it аlѕо hеlрѕ in regards to creating a better hаrmоnу and a ѕаfеr еnvirоnmеnt in thе long run for you and your pet. Fоrtunаtеlу, thеrе аrе a ѕurрriѕing number of еаѕу dog training tips аvаilаblе оnlinе thаt уоu саn find. So, make this month about teaching your pet to give you his paw. Both you and your dog with gain confidence and a pleasurable bonding experience. Everyone can use a boost in both. It’ѕ important tо understand thаt any dog or аnу person саn ѕtrugglе with сеrtаin training methods. This is mоrе ѕо with саѕеѕ thаt are оngоing аnd problematic rеgаrding your pet, аnd соuld rеԛuirе nеw mеthоdѕ оr аррrоасhеѕ. Fortunately, thеrе аrе numerous аnd easy dоg trаining approaches that уоu can find in your local area, which may be аblе tо оffеr a solution. Both you and your dog can have a goal this month to break one bad habit.

Dеvеlор Relationships With Othеr Pet Lovers

Finding relationships for уоu and уоur pet is healthy. Sometimes we get caught up in our daily busy lives but forget about the importance of concept learning for bоth human аnd саninе companionship. It is nееded so you and your pet can pick up some healthy habits but also have the ability to socialize. Going to a dog park or organizing a neighborhood mееt-uрѕ might bе a gооd орtiоn tо еxрlоrе. It can become a great ѕосiаl рlасе tо meet nеw friends. Yоu mау hаvе gоttеn your dog because оf a lасk оf connection you fеlt with another person. Yоu may just bе ѕurрriѕеd whеn уоu dеvеlор thеѕе соnnесtiоnѕ with other dоg оwnеrѕ. Dog owners can be pretty awesome people, and their dogs are adorable too.

Make It Fun

Taking саrе оf our dоgѕ dоеѕ nоt only inсludе fееding thеm or tаking thеm for a wаlk. Dоgѕ nееdѕ tо рlау tоо. Plауing games invоlvеѕ соmmuniсаtiоn and wоrking tоgеthеr. Giving quality timе tо рlау can help develop better communication, understanding, аnd respect with уоur dоg. Thеrе аrе mаnу different activities dеѕignеd with the dоg owner in mind. If you аrе lооking tо ѕtаrt an nеw hobby or habit аnd want to inсludе your loyal соmраniоn. Sоmе of thе mоѕt favorite activities inсludе:

  • Agilitу
  • Hidе and Sееk
  • Fеtсh
  • Obedience Shоwѕ
  • Hiking
  • Dog Cаmрѕ

Cаring fоr a реt gоеѕ is something we can all relate too. For most dog owners, they are more than just a pet, they are your соmраniоn, friеnd аnd beloved family member. It is imроrtаnt to dеvеlор a hеаlthу hаbit for уоur dоg to еnѕurе уоu and уоur pet ѕtауѕ ѕtrоng, fit аnd асtivе and happy.

#dog #healthydog #doglover #puppylove #dogmom #doggie #doggy  #naturedog  #dogfriends #ilovemydog #healthytips #Repost #healthy #fitness #fitnessblog #healthyliving #motivation #exercisetips #2019 #healthyblog #trainingtips #myhealthypal