This blog is just a free following piece about my day and feelings. I am sure it will be riddled with a ton of grammar mistakes, but that is my natural state of being. I am completely imperfect.
Homeschooling is rough. You have to separate yourself as a parent versus a teacher. Some days are good, and things get done, but then there are days that my child refuses to do work. What do I do then? Send her to her room?
What frustrates the most about this is that I am co-parenting and her father will jump on the opportunity not to work because getting up in the morning is triumph over the day. She doesn’t get much disciplines there, so I am still the weight in the world for which rest on her shoulders. She knows she only has to deal with me for a little while before she returns to the haven of a father. I hate my role very much. I am always dismissed in this dynamic because that’s the way it has been since being with her dad.
So, homeschooling…I wanted to homeschool her because I felt it would allow me to spend time with her. She can see what “healthy” way of life instead of the negative side. She had a horrible teacher this year. The teacher only had five students yet couldn’t get her act together to be personable with the students or make any connection. She didn’t even bother to know my name. When confronted, she blamed the kids and my daughter. She is the teacher. Do not make it the fault of children. Even when they annoy you, they need to learn from you how to handle the situation. So, here I am the teacher and parent.
I am still learning, and it is not easy. I want to teach the word of God and also give her the curriculum I know she is capable of doing. The issue is that we are so new to these roles that there are misfires. I either get mad because she refuses to work or she refuses to work and ask to go to Daddy’s home. I try hard not to add my feelings and thoughts to the situation, but it is very hard.
I hate being the “mean” parent.
So, I am done ranting.
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