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How to Make Co-Parenting Work

Co-parenting between the separated parents means that both have to share the responsibilities of children’s upbringing. Parents, who decide to do this, must cooperate to make it work. Following the co-parenting plan can be a
good start. However, saying it is easier than doing it. Problems will always rise especially in the case where parents haven’t resolved their internal conflicts.

The most common problem arising is that children keep seeing the ongoing battle between parents after the separation process. It’s unfortunate for the children because it will harm them psychologically. If you experience this problem, use a holistic co-parenting – which consider the arrangement of the co-parenting and the emotional aspect of all parties involved – to solve it. Here are the steps to do it:

Lose your fear
The reason why you keep fighting with your ex is that you still hold pain, as the result of the separation, within you. The pain derives from fear or trauma.

Can you see it now?

So fear or trauma is your conflict’s source. Now that you’ve found it, you have to lose it.

Here are the simple steps to do it:

  • Let all your fear out by writing them down.
  • Deal all your fear one by one.

For example, you’re afraid that you can’t handle the car’s matter which your ex usually did it for you. To lose your fear, go to the mechanic and learn how to deal with it. Once you manage to do it, you’ll gain confidence and fear no more.

Remember past fear and how you’d overcome i

This path down memory lane will make you think, “Hey! I’d overcome my fear. So I’ll be able to deal with this separation too.” This thought will strengthen you.

Cry out loud

Crying will help you in the process of losing fear. After that, you’ll feel relieved and see clearly. Thus, you’ll build positive communication with your ex who will likely give positive feedback for it. Once you do this, you have started a healthy co-parenting.

Ask your friends and family’s support

The process of letting out fear and afterward will take times. You’ll go through the ups and downs of the process. During the time, it’s better to ask for support/help from your friends and family.

As an outsider, they’ll be able to see your problem rationally. Therefore, at times you feel down, they can make you better and help you back to the track where you need to be to do healthy co-parenting.

However, if you think that your friends or family can’t help you due to whatever reasons, get the experts’ help.

Discuss the co-parenting in detail and make the win-win solutions agreement. Conflicts can also happen because of other aspects of co-parenting which are the kind of parenting style which you and your ex use in raising children and the financial matter. Therefore it’s important to discuss both in details.

During the discussion, let out all your thoughts of how you want the arrangement to be. Let your ex do the same. If both of you have differences, find the win-win solutions. So no one will be dissatisfied. Therefore no conflicts arise in the future.

Then make the agreement proved by the court. It’s an important step to do in a holistic co-parenting. This way you, your ex and most importantly your child will get all the deserved rights legally. In the case of unwanted events happen, the law will protect you.

Get me time

The next process you need to go through is that you must get your own me time. Spare time to do enjoying activities such as doing your hobbies, hanging out with your friends, meeting new people, traveling, etc. Do it while your child is with your ex.

Doing fun activities will refresh and relax you. You’ll get positive energy which will make you happy. Suggest your ex to do the same while your child is with you. That way, your ex will be happy too. The act of supporting your ex in term related to co-parenting is necessary also.

Because if your ex is in a healthy emotional state as you do, both of you can make your child happy as well. And this is the core of a holistic co-parenting.

Evaluate the co-parenting you’ve done

If conflicts still happen after all the efforts you’ve done. It’s time to evaluate the co-parenting arrangement. Asking the experts’ help is one thing you and your ex can do. They can give an objective evaluation, help both of you to figure out what’s wrong, and give alternative suggestions. After this evaluation, both of you may have to make a new decision about the co-parenting and repeat the above steps.

If conflicts still happen after all the efforts you’ve done. It’s time to evaluate the co-parenting arrangement. Asking the experts’ help is one thing you and your ex can do. They can give an objective evaluation, help both of you to figure out what’s wrong, and give alternative suggestions. After this evaluation, both of you may have to make a new decision about the co-parenting and repeat the above steps.

It seems tedious to do so but parenting – co-parenting or not – is a life’s time work. Just keep in mind that it’s for your beloved child. That way you’ll feel the hard work of co-parenting is worth to do.

#coparenting #parenting #divorce #blendedfamily #love #family #dad #children #kids #mom #son #marriage #stepparents #stepmom #daughter #bonusmom #stepson #familycourt #stepdaughter #stepkids #stepparenting #child #stepparent #bonuskids #bonusdaughter #bonusfamily #relationship #stepchildren

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Forgiveness: You Have a Choice

Forgiveness is a powerful act in the human psyche. If we continue to think in an unforgiving way, we will always have resentment. If we are continually having angry and resentful thoughts, we will never be satisfied and find pleasure.

When we forgive, we are excusing ourselves. If we hold on to our negative emotions and try the justify our negative processes as the way out, we will be stuck in our own prison of shame, anger, and doubt. It is very telling in those situations that we believe we are trying our best to get out, but nothing is working. If you are feeling stuck, maybe you should ask if there is something that you have not forgiven.

When you do not move willingly with life in the present moment, it usually indicates you are leading from the past. Holding on to unforgiveness will consume the present moment. It’s only in the present that can you create your future. Your thoughts and words are powerful, so to not forgive means that you will be bringing your negative emotions into your future self.

When you blame another person for how you feel, give your own power away. You are putting the security for your emotions to someone else.

There is a difference between forgiveness and acceptance. Forgiving someone does not mean that you condone their behavior. The act of forgiveness takes place in your mind. It really has nothing to do with the other person. The truth of forgiveness lies in placing ourselves free from carrying the pain. It is a way of releasing yourself from a negative mindset.

Forgiveness does not mean allowing the painful actions of another to continue in your life. Sometimes forgiveness means letting go. When you forgive and take a stand to your emotions, it helps to set a healthy boundary. When you let it go, you free up some headspace to think of thoughts that make you feel stable. This new headspace may allow you to pay attention to the present moment and give you enough room to create a more positive construct for the future.

You have a choice.

#forgiveness #peace #love #spiritual #life #believe #hope #mindfulpractice #forgive #soul #compassion #wisdom #spirituality #trust #mind #worry #meditation #calm #faithful #destiny #guidance #meditate #thankful

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No one has a name

Meeting in the night
Erasing the momentarily yearn
Lost in destiny

Inkwells are stained but dried out
Soothing words are never written but remain silent
Sorrow for these words that we never heard, but it is blinding

Acclamation to lost desires
Continuing abhorrence
Refreshing is the fantasy that never transpired

Love was forsaken
Sorrow survives
Disappearing to the next conquest

No one has a name

#relationshippoems #relationship #poetry #poem #love #poems #face #poetrycommunity #lyrics #poetryporn #relationships #relationshipproblems #relationshipquote #oneline #life #sad

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A New Puppy: The Basics for Positive Behavior

If you have a puppy, it’s important to note that these next few weeks will be a moment of bonding and joy. With a little preparation and patience, you will be able to provide your furry friend with the best care and help him explore his new world safely. The following are what your puppy needs to learn during this stage.

Lead walking:

At this stage, your dog is ready for walking. You can begin slipping a lead over your puppy’s head for very short periods as he walks beside you. Make sure you have the proper collar, leash or harness for your puppy. This is the perfect time to teach your puppy to walk correctly on a leash, so start right away.

Recall:

Making sure your dog has a good recall is one of the most critical obedience exercises you can teach them. This will enable you to confidently let your dog off leash at the park knowing they will quickly return to you when you are ready to go home and help you ensure that you get their attention and they can instantly come back to you for safety reasons.

Socialization:

Socializing your puppy is essential at this stage; your puppy must be socialized to humans by having positive experiences with people of all ages, including children, women, men, and people with sticks and in wheelchairs — anything a dog may face at any time of his life. If social learning is not achieved at this stage, the dog may never recover.

Similarly, if negative experiences occur, the dog can learn negative associations with any stimulus. If your dog misses out on contact with other dogs at this stage, he will not learn the basics of pleasant and polite dog communication.

Bite inhibition:

This is the peak age for dog biting, so do not expect too much. He is teething and also trying to communicate with you. Although biting is a big problem and a big shock for a lot of new dog owners, so work on bite inhibition and let your pup know that biting is unwanted behavior. One thing I like to do it have a toy handy, so when the puppy starts to bite, I replace my hand for the toy. If I don’t have a toy handy, I pull my hand away, lift up one finger and gently say no.

Getting into their Bed & Begging:

It is best to let your puppies know that the idea of getting on their bed while you eat is a great idea that attracts treats. You can hold your puppy favorite treat with you, and every time you sit down to eat, give your dog the treat every time he goes into his bed. You will teach him not to beg but also an association that this bed in his place.

Basic commands:

He can start to learn the basic commands. It’s always easy to teach a new command than to break an old habit. Even before you think about teaching your puppy to do the trick, there are three commands he must learn such as Sit, stay and come, these are the basic commands in puppy’s training.

You are just beginning to study your new furry companion, and he is also learning about you. Keep your focus on your training and keep it positive. Your lovely pet is eager to please, and the time you invest in training will pay off when he grows up.

There are plenty of books out there on how to train, but also hiring someone to take care of your puppy while you are away will give them more exposure to people and senses.

#puppytraining#puppy#dog#dogsofinstagram#dogtraining#dogs#puppylove#dogstagram#puppies#puppiesofinstagram#cute#training#doglover#dogtrainer#obedience#dogoftheday#dogsofinsta#gsd#instagram#pet#doglife#workingdog#pup#germanshepherd

Banana Bread Featured

Yummy Banana Breakfast Bread

I had some time to spare and a few ripe bananas. I thought I would share the recipe that I use when making banana bread. It is super easy and is a great snack or part of your breakfast.

Whenever I get overwhelmed or need to focus, I find cooking does that for me. I loved cooking since I was tiny and experimented with all kinds of ingredients to feed my brothers and sisters. Sometimes the food came out fantastic and other times….well, not so much.

There is actually a movement for this type of therapy, which I will reference below that states:

Cooking and baking are pursuits that fit a type of therapy known as behavioral activation. The goal is to alleviate depression by boosting positive activity, increasing goal-oriented behavior and curbing procrastination and passivity.

If the activity is defined as personally rewarding or giving a sense of accomplishment or pleasure, or even seeing the joy of that pumpkin bread with chocolate chips making someone else happy, then it could improve a sense of well-being,” says Jacqueline Gollan, associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago.”

So, if you need a pick me up, please try this recipe.

Dry Ingredients:
3/4 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 cup white sugar & 1/4 cup of brown sugar
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda

Wet Ingredients:
4 ripe bananas
5 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
3 eggs, room temperature

  1. Preheat oven to 350 F
  2. To a large mixing bowl add, all-purpose flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon
  3. Combine and blend well together and set aside
  4. In a separate mixing bowl, add 4 very ripe bananas and mash well with a fork until it looks like paste
  5. Add butter and room temperature eggs and combine all together with a fork until it is well-mixed.
  6. Combine wet and dry ingredients together and mix well
  7. To a greased loaf pan or use parchment paper (it’s up to you)
  8. Pour batter into pan
  9. Distribute evenly and press down on the mixture to remove any air bubbles
  10. Bake for 40-50 min (test with a toothpick around 40 min and it comes out cleanly, remove)
  11. Let cool on a wire rack

Eat and Enjoy!

What’s your favorite breakfast recipe? Do you enjoy cooking?

Please let me know.

A Road to Mental Health Through the Kitchen: https://www.wsj.com/articles/a-road-to-mental-health-through-the-kitchen-1418059204

#bananabreadrecipe #bananabread #banana #sundaybaking #baking #nondietapproach #bakingrecipes #bananarecipes #nondiet #bananabreas #therapy #depression #selfove

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30 Day Declutter Challenge – Week 1

For January, I decided to do the 30-day decluttered challenge. In this challenge, you have 30 days to declutter items from your home. In this challenge, the day of the challenge pairs with the number of items you have to get rid of, so one day 1, you pick one item to get rid of and on day 30, you get rid of thirty pieces. So, in total, you will be getting rid of 460 things.

It has been a journey for me to downsize my material possessions. I’ve been doing it for over two years and still have a lot to go. What I want in my home are items that bring me joy and less work. So, I hope that this challenge will help me appreciate the things and also recognize the things that I don’t need. Each week, I will post pictures of the items that I will be getting rid of in my home.

For the most part, the items that I discard are going to be recycled or sold. However, it’s important to note that when you are doing to this type of challenge, that it is also a mindful practice. Please remember that there are many options to get healthily rid of your stuff. You may have a friend who needs a sweater or a homeless person who needs shoes. You may want to sell your favorite dress that you paid way too much money, and you can’t seem to part with it. Maybe the dress will be sold to someone who wants to look good for their big day. It is a much better use of the item rather than sitting in your closet.

So, remember to repurpose, donate, sell or recycle your items. The worse thing to do is throw them out because they will end up in a landfill and then it becomes everyone’s problem.

Finally, try to have fun with the challenge. If you truly love an item, don’t throw it out for the sake of the challenge or the status quo. This exercise intends to make your home a representation of you and your family.

The first week was pretty easy for me. Generally, I know the stuff I need to get rid of that has been sitting around my home.

Below are the items that I am getting rid for the first week of the challenge, most of these items are going to be donated or sold. The coat with my going to the NYCares Coat organization.


Day One


Day Two


Day Three


Day Four


Day Five


Day Six


Day Seven


So, that is it for the week. What items can you get rid of in your home? Are you happy with what you have in your home? Please let me know if you are doing something similar or are interested in the challenge. Just leave a comment below, follow or like this post.

Cheers!

#minimalist #minimalistic #minimalista #minimalistics #minimaliststyle #minimalistdesign #minimalistart #minimaliste #minimalistwallet #minimalistphotography #minimalists #minimalistzen #minimalisticdesign #minimalistlifestyle #minimalistliving #minimalistlife #30daychallenge #home #staystrong #family #step1 #2019 #30daychallenge #30daychallengeabs #30daychallenges #30daychallenge #30daydeclutterchallenge
Featured

How to Recognize A Toxic Person

For most of us, we like to assume in the best of people. Unfortunately, that can get us in trouble. Toxic people do exist, and chances are we’ve met one. Sometimes they might not even realize they’re causing harm to others. Other times, they are fully aware of the power they hold over other people and actively aim to do damage.

Fortunately, there are warning signs, so please be mindful when reading this post. It could be information in this piece to help you understand a difficult person in your life.

Toxic people play the victim, they are in a constant state of their tragic world. The people who struggle with the victim mentality doesn’t think they have power over their lives and they blame other people in the circumstances. This can be from being unhappy to avoid taking responsibility for their lives. Playing the victim can give someone the power to control another person. These type of people seem to prey on your feelings of compassion and goodwill. They usually do to see how much you are willing to surrender to make them happy. You will not make them happy and will end up wasting your time and energy.

A classic victim attitude is when they flip a situation to make it about them. They put themselves down while defensively blaming you for their life situation.

If you have caught someone lying several times about things that generally are ordinary, you might be dealing is a pathological liar.

Pathological liars are someone who continuously lies to protect their image. They are masters of manipulation. They tend to be impulsive people with a need to fascinate others. They might not always have a purpose to why they are lying.

The pathological liar can leave you feeling frustrated, misguided, and neurotic. It might even make you question your rationality. Pathological lying can also be a symptom of more severe problems of mental illness. Please ask for advice from a professional should you suspect mental illness.

Emotional abuse can be one of the most grievous forms of savagery. It creates marks that can last longer than physical ones and it’s challenging to detect. This type of toxic person can leave you with depression, demoralization, self-blame, and very low self-esteem.

Emotional abuse can be passive aggressive behavior, shouting, depreciating, judgment and be accusatory to your actions.

Certain people project their vulnerabilities and insecurities onto another person in the form of anger and bullying. They are ineffective of considering limits. They can’t process their own toxicity. They deal with it by putting it on to someone else. They will try to break your will. They need to make someone feel small, so they can feel big.

You are usually walking on eggshells around this person. The person can routinely mock you and dismiss your beliefs, thoughts, and feelings. They will blame you for the problems in your relationship and tell you that is it your fault. If you find yourself in an emotionally abusive situation, please distance yourself. You are worth more than what you are being told.

Toxic people can be master manipulators, and they are smart about hiding their true intentions. They try to control people whether directly or indirectly. They need something from you and will work hard to make sure they get it. They might be utterly incapable of feeling remorse and recognizing their bad behavior.

A controlling person needs to know where you are at all times. They like to micromanage your work. They will try to pull you away from your loved ones and friends. They will try to keep you for themselves. If you are dealing with this type of personality, talk to them and if that doesn’t get through to them, gracious leave or distance yourself.

I mentioned a couple of times about toxic people and how we should try not to have them in our lives. A toxic person doesn’t have to be toxic to everyone, they could be using you. You may also find that you may fit into one of these definitions of a toxic person. Before you dump someone or truly start to doubt your existence, I would recommend talking to people and researching before many any decisions.

We all deserve to live in harmony. If you find yourself in one of
these situations, please take the necessary steps to make your life better.

Points of Reference:
Dealing With Toxic People You Can’t Just Cut Out Forever: https://www.scarymommy.com/dealing-with-toxic-people/

8 Strategies for Dealing With the Toxic People in Your Life:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201612/8-strategies-dealing-the-toxic-people-in-your-life

How Emotionally Intelligent People Handle Toxic People: http://www.talentsmart.com/articles/How-Emotionally-Intelligent-People-Handle-Toxic-People-1028629190-p-1.html

Signs of a Toxic Person and How to Cut Those Toxic People out of Your Life: https://theartofcharm.com/empowerment/cut-toxic-people-life/

7 Types of Toxic People and How to Spot Them: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/toxic-people/

#selflove #psychopath #survivor #boundaries #selfcare #narcissism #divorce #nocontact #healing #npd #empath #fakelove #anxiety #domesticabuse #love #liar #cheater #narcissisticabusesurvivor #cptsd #narcissisticmother #depression #fraud #toxicrelationship #traumabonding #loveyourself #pathologicalliar #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #awareness #motivationalquotes #recovery

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A Simple Exercise in Gratitude

I am no stranger to anxiety and depression. I have suffered from it for most of my life. Nowadays, I am a little open-minded to the possibility that I can change my mood or at least the view of my day by doing a simple exercise.

It seems that in today’s world, being negative is sort of taking over. There seems to be more and more things that are not acceptable, and there are other things that are acceptable but entirely unattainable for the average person. So, I hope this practice can help you and your outlook.

This exercise is designed to help you think more positively and hopefully be able to help you deal with the negative things a little bit better. It sounds easy, but can be challenging for those stuck in a depressed or anxious state.

You just start by creating a gratitude list each day.

Each day, write down the things that you appreciate in life. You may start off great, but you’ll have a day when nothing seems excellent. That’s where your mind is going to kick in and will help you find the appreciation of the smaller things.

An example for me would be the love of my family, the support of my friends, having a home, and the ability to eat good food. In a few days, it may be harder, so I have to start to look at my current surroundings like, my dog under my foot as I type or this warm cup of coffee that tastes amazing. By consistently practicing this, it helps make me feel good and helps to set up my day a little bit better.

Now you might think that sounds weird, especially if you are currently anxious or depressed, but that’s kind of how it works. I really have started to appreciate the tiny little things. It gives me a moment to get out of my head or opens me up to get help.

It does help me to think more positively and to really start appreciating everything in my life. When you are in a mood, the negative thoughts are a lot more powerful than positive ones. It’s so easy to think of something negative. This exercise, allows your mind to tell your brain, “Ok, you do not like it but, here at least there is something positive in the situation.” You want to keep trying to put these positive thoughts into your mind until they start to become second nature in your daily practice.

I wanted to share this little exercise because it seems to help me. It does take time and patience, but try not to be hard on yourself. Gratitude is something most of us don’t practice because we are stuck in the past or future of being without. This exercise allows me to pay attention to the moment and can help me change my thoughts. I hope it does the same for you.

What kind of practices do you do to help change your mood?

#gratitude #love #life #peace #grateful #happiness #blessed #joy #meditation #motivation #yoga #inspiration #nature #family #happy #selflove #positivevibes #thankful #spirituality #fitness #believe #faith #mindfulness #goodvibes #travel #energy #bhfyp #depression #anxiety #needhelp #tips #gradtitudelist

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Too Much Pride

It’s happening again,

my sense of pride is too high.

I don’t even know how to tell you a simple “why.”

I hold it inside hoping all my mediation will give me some light.

I do not cry.

Well, maybe in the middle of the night.

It’s happening again,

that secret wish that I would magically die.

I do not want it,

not death.

I just want relief from these thoughts in my head.

It’s happening again,

that fake smile and tone-deaf laugh

You do not want to know my feelings

You will have none of that

It’s better to acknowledge my muted eyes as real.

They are not bright.

It’s happening again,

my need for darkness.

You won’t understand.

You see it as a weakness.

It’s better to pretend that it’s just tiredness.

It’s not,

you can see it,

I am worthless.

It’s happening again. 

I am too quiet.

You don’t mind.

You don’t hear me anyway.

It’s better to think I am just busy.

I am not,

it’s a silent scream.

Please help me!

I have too much pride.

You’ll never know why.

#Depressionpoem #poetry #poet #depression #poetsofig #screenshot #firstdraft #poems #poet #depressed #depressioning #anxiety #depressionedits #mentalillness #fightingmentalillness #pathetic #loser #worthless #hopeless #ugly #freak #hurt #lost #suicidal #suicidalpoem #sucidalquotes #heartbroken #heartbreak #lonely #quotes

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2019 – I am Ready and Here is My List!

I decided to list my goals and joy prompts for 2019. I believe I am already working towards these goals, but they are a reminder that I am at the next leave of progress. My joy prompts a list of items that I would like to do. They are there when I feel stuck or want more out of a day, week or month. It is a great reminder just to enjoy life.

Goals for 2019:

  • Four Months of No Spend in 2019
  • Monthly Check-In with Hubby (Goals to Actually Work Together)
  • Spend at least 1 whole day per week with my daughter
  • No social media 30 minutes before bed (alarms work great)
  • No phone for 1 hour in the morning (timers are fantastic)
  • Be in bed at 11pm, Lights out by 12
  • Journal for Ten Minutes Each Day
  • Pay at $12,000 off (interest is too high)
  • Spend 1 night with my husband a week (No Interruptions)
  • Call, Email, Text, or Meet at least one person per day
  • Try to find ways to work online (shop, blog, freelance) Continue and Research ways to make money in a smart way
  • Build a solid client list for Pet Care
  • 10 minutes of Cleaning each Morning
  • Complete Two: 30-day Declutter Challenge
  • Check in with Ex at least once a week about my daughter and discuss any challenges
  • No clothes buying unless needed
  • Fix my Teeth ASAP

Things To Prompt Joy:

  • Read A Book from Cover to Cover While Marking It Up
  • Game Night
  • Drawing
  • Color in a Book
  • Taking the Ferry
  • Fruit Picking
  • Email A Friend
  • Respond to A Friend
  • Go Horseback Riding
  • Take a Class
  • A weekend away
  • A trip to See Family
  • Love Notes
  • Spend a day taking photos
  • Going to the Movie
  • Seeing the Sunrise
  • Seeing the Sunset
  • Listen to Audible Books (learn a subject)
  • Brush up with Spanish
  • Take care of plants
  • Sit in a coffee shop and read
  • Take A Yoga Class
  • Take a train ride to Upstate NY
  • Family Trip
  • A weekend indoors without worrying about money, work or entertaining
  • Try a new recipe
  • Connect with someone I haven’t been in contact in a while
  • Try a new food
  • Research someone I admire
  • Being Honest
  • Play Roblox while talking to daughter while on the phone
  • Make Sandwiches and Hand Them Out to Homeless People
  • Write Lists
  • Thrift Shopping
  • Hug Someone
  • Dusting
  • Swings
  • Sitting Still
  • Mediation
  • Cooking Dinner
  • Napping
  • A call to my sister
  • Send my grandmother a care package
  • Write a letter to a friend or family member
  • Music and Wine
  • Laundry
  • Being Home Early
  • Smile at the Sun
  • Get a Massage
  • Being Heard
  • Researching Better Business Practices
  • Excel Sheets
  • A new computer
  • Trying Something New
  • Creating a vlog
  • Creating a blog
  • Live life like a marathon (I work better this way)
  • Listen to a podcast
  • Go on a boat ride
  • Destroy a Book
  • Say yes with something I want to do
  • Say No and stick to it
  • Trust My Gut (it seems to work better than my head)
  • No work day
  • Notecards with inspiration
  • Todo list
  • One in / one out Rule
  • Walk Through Central Park
  • Cook a meal with my daughter
  • Doodle
  • Cuddling with Charlotte
  • Think about nothing
  • A quiet space
  • Classic Rock
  • Old Country and Folk Music
  • Showing Gratitude
  • Cleaning a cluttered area
  • Rearranging a space
  • Cookies
  • Work at my own pace
  • Accomplishing a goal
  • Making the bed
  • Exploring a Neighborhood
  • Drinking Water
  • Smoothies
  • Cuddling with a dog
  • Going over a todo list
  • When everyone is happy
  • Spa Day
  • Growing out my Hair
  • No phone days
  • Writing
  • Painting My Nails
  • Doing One Thing at a time
  • Paying Off Debt
  • Brushing a bush with my Hand
  • Setting a Timer
  • Talking to a friend
  • Hearing Laughter
  • Seeing my daughter’s smile
  • Putting on Makeup
  • Getting Dressed-up
  • Having a Lazy Day
  • Skincare Day
  • Showers
  • Lotion
  • The moon
  • Telling Someone why they inspire me
  • Holding the door for someone
  • Giving a little gift to someone
  • Hearing my daughter’s breath
  • Practicing Gratitude
  • Looking up and smiling
  • Cutting Paper
  • Not giving up
  • This is a quick list, and this post is to keep me accountable. What things do you have a plan in 2019?

#resolution #2019goals #goalsetting #joy #happiness #entrepreneur #nutrition #healthylifestyle #inspiration #gains #business #getoutside #lifestyle #dreambig #eatclean #life #selflove #hardwork #training #gethealthy #exercise #successmindset #muscle #nevergiveup #motivationalquotes #mindset #family

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Healthy Pup = Healthy Humans…So, Let’s Get Into It!

Cаring fоr a реt gоеѕ bеуоnd thе соnсерt of mеrе оwnеrѕhiр. You ѕhоuld view your dоg not only аѕ a possession but also as a соmраniоn, friеnd аnd beloved mеmbеr of your fаmilу. It is imроrtаnt to dеvеlор a hеаlthу hаbit for уоur dоg thrоugh activities thаt will not only bring you сlоѕеr tоgеthеr but аlѕо еnѕurе уоu and уоur pet ѕtауѕ ѕtrоng, fit аnd асtivе. Kеер rеаding fоr ѕоmе grеаt ѕuggеѕtiоnѕ on асtivitiеѕ you can dо with your dog that will mаintаin a hеаlthу hеаrt, build bоndѕ, аnd inѕtill diѕсiрlinе.

Dаilу Walks

It gоеѕ withоut ѕауing thаt уоur dоg nееdѕ dаilу еxеrсiѕе. However, оnе оf thе most significant lapses dog оwnеrѕ аdmit to is not wаlking their dog on a dаilу bаѕiѕ. We’ve all bееn thеrе with excuses like – it’ѕ thе еnd оf a lоng dау, it lооkѕ likе it might rаin, wе haven’t еvеn ѕtаrtеd to сооk dinner уеt, etc. Then wе dесidе wе’ll tаkе thеm for a аn еxtrа-lоng walk tomorrow, which аlmоѕt nеvеr hарреnѕ. Thе thing is уоu arе nоt оnlу сhеаting уоur dоg out оf the hеаlth bеnеfitѕ оf daily еxеrсiѕе, you’re сhеаting уоurѕеlf. It’ѕ widely accepted thаt walking fоr juѕt 30 minutеѕ a dау hеlрѕ уоu lose bоdу fat, imрrоvеѕ your fitness lеvеlѕ аnd аѕѕiѕtѕ in avoiding аll ѕоrtѕ of health issues like heart disease, type 2 diаbеtеѕ, аnd оѕtеороrоѕiѕ. Bу intrоduсing оnе or twо ѕhоrt wаlkѕ into уоur dаilу ѕсhеdulе уоu are giving both уоurѕеlf and your dоg a gift of better health.

Have Rеgulаr Chесk-Uрѕ

As pet раrеntѕ, wе wаnt our pets to livе the most prolonged, happiest аnd hеаlthiеѕt lives роѕѕiblе. Regular сhесkuрѕ аrе аn essential раrt оf keeping аnу pet healthy. In fасt, thе Amеriсаn Veterinary Mеdiсаl Aѕѕосiаtiоn аnd thе Amеriсаn Animаl Hоѕрitаl Aѕѕосiаtiоn’ѕ preventive саrе guidelines ѕау thаt dоgѕ and саtѕ ѕhоuld viѕit thе veterinarian at lеаѕt аnnuаllу. If it has been over a year since your dogs check, dоn’t wаit until your dog iѕ ѕiсk to gо to the vet. The ѕаmе, оf соurѕе, is true fоr уоur оwn рhуѕiсаl аnd mеntаl health. You need to be healthy to live a productive life with your pet.

Get To Training

Trаining рrосеdurеѕ done bеtwееn уоu аnd уоur реt is a wоndеrful bоnding еxреriеnсе, but it аlѕо hеlрѕ in regards to creating a better hаrmоnу and a ѕаfеr еnvirоnmеnt in thе long run for you and your pet. Fоrtunаtеlу, thеrе аrе a ѕurрriѕing number of еаѕу dog training tips аvаilаblе оnlinе thаt уоu саn find. So, make this month about teaching your pet to give you his paw. Both you and your dog with gain confidence and a pleasurable bonding experience. Everyone can use a boost in both. It’ѕ important tо understand thаt any dog or аnу person саn ѕtrugglе with сеrtаin training methods. This is mоrе ѕо with саѕеѕ thаt are оngоing аnd problematic rеgаrding your pet, аnd соuld rеԛuirе nеw mеthоdѕ оr аррrоасhеѕ. Fortunately, thеrе аrе numerous аnd easy dоg trаining approaches that уоu can find in your local area, which may be аblе tо оffеr a solution. Both you and your dog can have a goal this month to break one bad habit.

Dеvеlор Relationships With Othеr Pet Lovers

Finding relationships for уоu and уоur pet is healthy. Sometimes we get caught up in our daily busy lives but forget about the importance of concept learning for bоth human аnd саninе companionship. It is nееded so you and your pet can pick up some healthy habits but also have the ability to socialize. Going to a dog park or organizing a neighborhood mееt-uрѕ might bе a gооd орtiоn tо еxрlоrе. It can become a great ѕосiаl рlасе tо meet nеw friends. Yоu mау hаvе gоttеn your dog because оf a lасk оf connection you fеlt with another person. Yоu may just bе ѕurрriѕеd whеn уоu dеvеlор thеѕе соnnесtiоnѕ with other dоg оwnеrѕ. Dog owners can be pretty awesome people, and their dogs are adorable too.

Make It Fun

Taking саrе оf our dоgѕ dоеѕ nоt only inсludе fееding thеm or tаking thеm for a wаlk. Dоgѕ nееdѕ tо рlау tоо. Plауing games invоlvеѕ соmmuniсаtiоn and wоrking tоgеthеr. Giving quality timе tо рlау can help develop better communication, understanding, аnd respect with уоur dоg. Thеrе аrе mаnу different activities dеѕignеd with the dоg owner in mind. If you аrе lооking tо ѕtаrt an nеw hobby or habit аnd want to inсludе your loyal соmраniоn. Sоmе of thе mоѕt favorite activities inсludе:

  • Agilitу
  • Hidе and Sееk
  • Fеtсh
  • Obedience Shоwѕ
  • Hiking
  • Dog Cаmрѕ

Cаring fоr a реt gоеѕ is something we can all relate too. For most dog owners, they are more than just a pet, they are your соmраniоn, friеnd аnd beloved family member. It is imроrtаnt to dеvеlор a hеаlthу hаbit for уоur dоg to еnѕurе уоu and уоur pet ѕtауѕ ѕtrоng, fit аnd асtivе and happy.

#dog #healthydog #doglover #puppylove #dogmom #doggie #doggy  #naturedog  #dogfriends #ilovemydog #healthytips #Repost #healthy #fitness #fitnessblog #healthyliving #motivation #exercisetips #2019 #healthyblog #trainingtips #myhealthypal

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Paying Down Debt in 2019

So, my last post for 2018 was one of the hardest things to think about or comprehend constructively. It is that lovely taboo topic called money management and debt.

When I quit my job, I quickly realized how much spending I was doing on a daily basis. The two significant factors were mindlessly spending on little things and just giving my money away because it felt good to help.

Starting my own business made me much more careful about how I was spending my money. So, I am not an expert in finances, and I will never claim to be because there is SO much more I need to learn.

However, in 2018, I did accomplish some goals as I became mindful with my relationship with money. The most significant accomplishment was paying off almost $10,000 in debt. I still have $31,000 left to pay off, but it does feel good to know my debt is going down rather than up. My debt really isn’t on any significant spending but rather a big student loan and medical bills.

For 2019, I am going to try to pay off at least $12,000 in it. I want to finish paying this off because I need to start spending more time with my loved ones. I miss having the ability to take my daughter out. I miss just having time. So, being mindful of my time and spending has hopefully help me with the ability to accomplish these goals.

Here are some approaches that I used in 2018 to help me reduce my working time and also to have the ability to pay things off. I hope to use these same skills to improve my outlook for 2019.

The biggest habit that I acquired in 2018 is making more intentional choices on how I spend my money. I also realized that I have people that I can ask for help whether that was with actual money or with time. I didn’t understand how closed off I had made myself until I needed help on the one thing I prided myself in doing.

The first thing I realized is that easy shopping was not my friend. These small purchases were too often and collectively impacting my life. There was a lot of mindless spending on a daily basis that indeed was inhibiting me from paying off my debt. I took for granted my “fixed” income and my “fixed” payments and used the rest of my money without overthinking on its impact.

I would tell myself that I wanted to save $200 at the end of the month, but when the month ended, I had zero money in my bank account. It didn’t take long for me to see that that was not a sustainable way of living. I wasn’t reaching any of my goals. I wasn’t happy with my spending habits.

I started embracing my reality and intention that I still was avoiding. It was easy for me to donate or sell my belongings, but it was harder not to replace them. I started to do small shopping bans like staying off of Amazon or only spending what I had in my wallet for a day, week or month. These little gestures really helped to have enough money to pay my bills.

For 2019, I really want to align my finance actions with my real value. This starts with having a conversation and writing about my intentions. My husband knows my plans and having someone who is understanding to your needs is excellent. I have no problem asking questions about money and researching about how to save. I thank him for that gift.

After realizing how I was spending and being comfortable with the idea of money. I started to take stock of the big money picture. I think that’s one of the scariest parts of personal finance and it has taken me a while to comprehend. I still continue to struggle with acknowledging the state of my money flow without judgment. I just know you have to start and I do see that I am getting better with paying attention to my spending and income. It only takes time and understanding that it’s not going to be perfect and it will never be perfect.

For me taking stock means logging into all of my accounts and writing down what the balances, both the positive or negative. The big picture is not about feeling good or bad about your situation. It’s especially hard if it’s a negative experience to log in and seeing all the negatives and zero numbers, but it’s not about just looking at the numbers. It’s looking at all the different accounts that you have and making peace with your current situation.

You just have to review it. When I took stock of all the accounts that I have, the next thing I thought of is what can I get rid of to save money. It’s not just about paying off debt right away, but how many accounts or subscriptions do you have that you don’t even use.

I try to have as few accounts as possible. I’m all for whatever works for you, but I think it’s easier to have fewer accounts. It makes my life more straightforward in my budgeting process. It’s just fewer things to track or to manage. It makes sense for me and my time and to not get overwhelmed by so much information that I am just trying to comprehend for the first time.

One of the biggest mistakes I make and guilty of so many times this year is mindlessly spending without keeping track of where my dollars are going. I know that this isn’t the most fun topic or the most fun task to think about but tracking my spending is essential. Not only does it open my eyes to my behavior with money but it gives me a small moment to check in to see if it aligns with my intention.

I do weekly check-ins. I look at all of the numbers and ask myself does it align with my goals and my value. If not, I ask what I can do for next week and really understand why I didn’t meet these goals. Keep things simple when doing this type of check-in and have it fit your daily flow. I do it Monday morning. I make coffee, I sit down, and I log into all of my accounts. I track my spending and then I double check all the balances on my accounts.

There are things you can do if you’re unhappy with what is happening to your accounts and cash flow. It helps me stay focus by taking small steps and trying to figure out what my goal is for the following week. I find I am slowly changing my mindset from I am “ok” to know precisely what I need to know about my finance and it feels good to see the progress that aligns with what I really want.

One of my favorite things about personal finance is that it’s personalized to you, so everyone’s numbers and decisions are going to look different. There is no judgment in that it’s just figuring out what makes you happiest what you’re okay with spending money on and then getting rid of everything else.

The things I spend money on I try to make sure those expenditures align with my values. The biggest question I ask myself and my final tip is before you make a purchase or pay off a bill, ask when or not it is worth your time to invest. After my basic needs are met, time is the most valuable resource.

I keep this question as a fundamental practice when making any decisions of spending. “Do I actually want to spend money on this item and it is worth my time to pay it off? “

I hope this makes some kind of sense to you. Again, I am new to understanding money, so if you have any advice, please share. I would love for all of us to pay down debt and live a more fruitful life in 2019.

Happy New Years!

#budget #debt #debtfreecommunity #finance #financialfreedom #help #livingsimple #minimalism #Money #moneyhacks #money savings #moneytips #personalfinance

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10 Ways of Self-Love in 2019

I hope that 2018 was an excellent year for you but if it weren’t, a new year would be starting in a few days. I hope you are ready for 2019.

I have learned through my personal journey how vital self-love is to grow as a person. This is not natural for me, I have the tendency to blame myself for everything and take on damage because I deserve it. This year, I had to wake up and make an effort to love myself. It has been a journey and one that I still continue to do each day.

I thought it would be fun to share with you some ideas for 2019 shows you how to set up the new year to be more positive and kind to yourself.

Number One: Be Kind to Your Body

You can start by taking care of your body more than you have in the past. For example, adding in some nutrient-dense food into your diet. It will be an excellent gift for your mind and your body.

You can also be conscious of your movement to try to get some endorphins going. When you are doing activities that you like doing, like taking a walk in Central Park you are moving your body and getting fresh air. You’ll be surprised at how much better you feel not only about yourself but also in your outlook on life.

Number Two: Start a Journal

Journaling this is a great way to build a relationship with yourself. I personally started journaling about a year into my journey for self-love and for dealing with significant changes in my life.

I have been making it a habit of waking up in the morning and writing in my journal. Even if it’s a simple sentence or a picture of a squirrel, it something that has helped me to connect with myself and my surrounds.

Start implementing a journal in your daily life and you may find that you had the answer all along or will get the answer you needed upon reflecting from your writings. I see that by making an effort to pay attention to me, my mind can come up with fantastic ideas and advice.

Number Three: Declutter Social Media

How many people are you following that when they post something and makes you feel bad about yourself? Are you comparing your body or your state of mind to them?

Yes, they can be inspirational, but also there’s a fine line between inspirational and comparison. Go through your social media and if you’re following anybody that makes you feel any type of negative feelings towards yourself or others, just click the unfollow button. You don’t have to see that in your feed every day.

You can instead find other people on social media to follow who are more like you or seem to help you want to grow as a person. It’s a great way to start working on self-love.

Number Four: Removing Toxic People

This is something that I did over the past year or so. If you don’t know what a toxic people is, it’s basically someone who it sucks all of your energy when you are around them. They make you feel bad about yourself while at the same time trying to bring you up to fit their mold.

For example, you may have a friend, and they are always talking about themselves and what they’re dealing with in their lives. They don’t take a moment to acknowledge you to see how you’re doing or what you’ve been dealing with you your life. It can also be someone who makes you feel not that great when you are done interacting with them. This friend or person could be a toxic person to you.

If you have anybody like this in your life, it is okay, and not selfish to set limits or just eliminate the time that you spend with them. Sometimes this isn’t always possible, like a family member or coworker, so try to limit the amount of time and pay attention to the positive things in your surroundings.

Number Five: Accept It For What it Was

Forgetting about yesterday is such a massive thing for me. I am not saying to avoid it or pretend it didn’t happen. I am speaking to acknowledge it, learn from it and try to move on from it.

My past does not define my future. It doesn’t determine what I am doing right now, so I try not to identify how I am feeling right now. The actions that you take on a daily basis is the focus. Try to focus on what you can do right now to better your relationship with yourself.

One thing I do in the morning when I am journalling is coming up with an affirmation and intention for that day. Doing a morning affirmation and intention keeps me present. It guides me into thinking on what I can do now. During the day, I reminded myself of that affirmation by setting a unique ring on my phone. When I hear it, I am now conditioned to think about my affirmation, my intention and what I have accomplished for the day.

Six: Meditate and Breath

When I sit for a moment and think of nothing but my breath, I feel so empowered. When I do meditate, it reflects in my daily routine, it reveals how I feel when going through challenges and triumphs. It’s just a really great way to get yourself in a constructive mindset.

Meditation and breathing have really changed my life. When I first started meditating I had it in my head that I needed to like to sit with my legs crossed and have some incense burning. However, that is not the case, there is no wrong way to meditate, and it doesn’t have to be perfect. For example, if you are on the subway, meditate by finding a spot on the floor to stare at and just focus on breathing.

Whenever I’m feeling stressed, or I have anxiety building up, I will stop what I’m doing, and I’ll just breathe. My breathing helps me by bringing me back to my center. It’s a great way to kind of stay calm and helps me to avoid having anxiety attacks.

Number Seven: Acknowledge Your Emotions Without Judgement

Don’t want to ignore your emotions that you’re having at any moment. However, it would be nice to sit with them and still feel at peace. Basically, you’re telling yourself that it’s okay to have anxiety and to feel. You are acknowledging them. You want to be able to recognize those emotions so you can accept them as a part of you.

When you take out the judgment from your feelings, they become simple and easy to acknowledge. They are valid emotions. Acknowledging your feelings without judgment will help not to let them dictate your day or actions. I like to think of it as giving yourself a hug when you need it.

Number Eight: Better Sleep

Try to commit to better sleep. This one is especially important because when you get better sleep, your mood improves, your body is, and you can think clearer. When our energy level is better, you can feel like you are ready to take on the day.

I need seven hours of sleep. I know that some people say you should have at least eight. However, I think they need it different for everyone. So, figure out what works for you and then make sure that you’re getting it every night.

One tip that I try to practice every night is to put my phone down an hour before bedtime. There’s a blue light on your phone, and that blue light has been shown to increases your brain activity. It makes it harder for you to fall asleep. For the hour before bed, try to get your brain into a relaxation mode like reading a book or listening to soothing music.

Number Nine: Write a Happy List

Write out a list of everything that makes you happy or everything that you love. This can be petting your dog to going to Paris. Then figure out a way to implement them into your life. Doing at least one of these items once a week will allow you to take time for yourself to do the things that you love. This will boost your overall well-being.

Number Ten: Unplug

We’re seemed always to be doing something digital. It would be perfect to take one day a week or a few hours in a day to just stay offline. When you start the practice of unplugging, you may begin to focus on the now.

It’s helpful for me to spend some quality time with my reality and not focusing on what’s going on online. There’s a lot of negativity in the news and online that does affect my mood and overall well being. I find unplugging from social media allows me to have the space to think. It allows me to create and love myself and family even more. I now appreciate my time away from social media.

So, these are the ten things that I have started but will continue to do in 2019. It has been a journey for me and will continue to be.

Please remember that you can do what you like to help yourself to love yourself just little more. The point of self-love is to be self-acceptant. If you set yourself up with unrealistic goals. You will fail. Set goals that are obtainable and have focus. You may find that setting up new habits are actually a lot easier if you start by taking small steps to the larger goal.

I love to hear from you. What actions for you take to give yourself a little self-love each day? What are you planning for the new year?

#selflove #love #selfcare #motivation #loveyourself  #inspiration #like #fitness #art #follow #quotes #happy #newyear #goals #mentalhealth #beautiful #happiness #health #life #positivevibes #beauty  #myself  #me #healing #2019 

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Two Impactful Goals for 2019

Can you believe it?

2019 in less than a week away!

This year, was a pretty good year for me as I learned to change many of the habits that have held me back. With 2019 right around the corner, everyone is thinking about their New Year’s resolutions. I am seeing it on social media and even on the local news. No matter what you envision for next year, you probably have a few significant lifestyle changes in mind.

One of the things that I am passionate about is the environment. Climate change looks pretty scary when you read about it, and I for one started to take small steps to reduce my carbon footprint in this beautiful word. I have a daughter, and one of the best things that I can do for her is to give her skills to help salvage our environment.

One capsule I am trying to organize is my “Go Green” way of life. Last year, I reduced the amount of stuff I was buying, starting to composting and reused anything that could before discarding or recycling it. I also tried my best to buy things that were recyclable or biodegradable. I want 2019 to be more of the same only adding to my efforts to have a cleaner environment.

There is always something you can do to make the planet a better place.

To help you on your quest to be a little sustainable, I am going to share with you two environmentally sustainable resolutions I am committed to in 2019.

Stop Buying Fast Fashion

Fast fashion Is literally ruining our planet. Stores like H&M, Target, Zara, and Topshop participate in an industry known as fast fashion. Unfortunately, this creates an outrageously easy way of throwing out clothes that are cheaply made or just not in style for the new season. Throwing out clothes is the second most wasteful habit. The fashion products that we consume take up much as much of the landfills as other waste materials, like plastic. Some fast-fashion companies even participate in practices that are unethical to their workers.

Don’t get me wrong, I buy from these stores. It’s a great way to get an item you need for cheap or to fulfill a need or want. In 2018, I reduce my need to spend as I felt I had everything I needed. After watching some documentaries and reading some books, I realized how much I was hurting the environment. This scared me to take action. It has taken me a year to commit to not buying fast fashion. I had to find a system that worked for me. Starting in 2019, I will no longer buy from fast-fashion retail chains.

First, disclaimer, do not throw away your clothes if you have the use for them. They are suiting you well. The point of being sustainable is to be resourceful with what you have in your closet. However, if you have too much and you are just not wearing them. Please consider selling, giving them away or donating your clothes.

Second, buy second-hand. I live in NYC, so I know which stores have the best deals and the best clothes for me. Generally, you can find a shirt and pants for a few dollars that you may actually want to wear. I always make a list of the things I need and try to find places that can give me the best price. By making this habit, it creates a buffer from the time I want it to the time you buy it. Sometimes, I may find that I actually didn’t need the item anyway.

Finally, few fashion labels use sustainable materials and eco-friendly production practices, some of these companies include Everlane, People Tree, Reformation, and Eileen Fisher. Although these brands and others similar are more expensive than those in the fast fashion, we need to understand that saving up to purchase is sometimes worth the higher price. Some of these companies have durable clothing so the item will last you a long time, this gives you more bang for your buck. It also creates a buffer to provide you with the time to understand whether or not you actually need the item.

Limit The Use of Plastic

In an article on the National Geographic website, it stated that “a whopping 91% of plastic isn’t recycled.”

It takes plastic 400 years to degrade, so most of it still exists in some form. This is scary when you think about it, I mean, where is all of the 8.3 billion metric tons of plastic waste go? In 2015, it was estimated that every year about 8 million metric tons of plastic end up in the oceans. This dumpage, in turn, affects wildlife, the coast, and ecosystems.

The goal for 2019 is to reduce my disposables consumption. A few easy ways that I am going to practice is to reduce the amount of waste by not using single-use plastic straws, grocery bags, to-go coffee cups, and plastic water bottles.

Reminder, this also took some time to get to this point in my sustainability lifestyle journey. I didn’t want to throw out what I had without using it first. I also had to get comfortable with asking stores to not give me a plastic bag for my sandwich or using my portable coffee cup instead of their throw away cup. Habits don’t form overnight, so if you are interested in doing this, I would say, take your time and do your research. The more you know, the better you will be at actively participating. Also, doing ger discourage if you can’t master this practice. Just trying each time in each moment is more than what others are currently doing.

So, what am I going to use to help reduce my likely hold of using these easily disposable items?

I made a kit. It is small enough to carry with me and to store or to take the items that I know I will be using for the day.

Here are the items in my kit:
1. a reusable shopping bag
2. a small reusable sandwich bag
3. a reusable water bottle
4. a reusable straw
5. a reusable coffee mug
6. a reusable hand towel

You can get all these things in many thrift stores. If you absolutely cannot find it, most of these can be found on Amazon or at your local store.

I do make it a point to carry this kit with me so I can avoid temptations of convenience. If I can avoid using these disposable items in my daily life, I know I can make a difference in the environment. It also makes a statement to the people who are around you. This means that customers, sellers, and your friends and family who see you using these reusable items may spark a conversation or give them permission to do the same.

I’m personally enthusiastic about the new year. I do think that the more we progress, the more progress we will see. I see it in my personal life. My small steps in change have become more significant, and these two goals of sustainability will have a positive impact on the environment.

Please remember to keep it simple and make an effort to sustain your practice in the long term. It takes hours of repetition to change old habits and ideas. Let me know if you have any advice on sustainability and what you are or will be doing to better your impact on the environment in 2019.

Thanks for reading!

Here are some more sites that you might be interested it reading:

Planet of Plastic? https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/07/plastic-produced-recycling-waste-ocean-trash-debris-environment/

35 Fair Trade & Ethical Clothing Brands Betting Against Fast Fashion https://www.thegoodtrade.com/features/fair-trade-clothing

Embrace These 5 Sustainable New Year’s Resolutions For A Greener 2019 https://www.peacefuldumpling.com/5-sustainable-new-years-resolutions

Why fast fashion needs to slow down https://www.unenvironment.org/news-and-stories/blog-post/why-fast-fashion-needs-slow-down

#organic #ocean #conservation #energy #handmade #architecture #plastic #instagood #sdg #bethechange #reduce #globalwarming #climateaction #natural #reducereuserecycle #food #future #noplastic #health #upcycle #agriculture #technology #entrepreneur #ecology #zerowasteliving #climate #water #ecofashion #greenliving

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7 Tips to Tidy Mindfully and Create Space

As this year quickly becomes a memory, I thought I would share some tips that I adapted throughout 2018 as there was a need to keep my place organized. I live in a small studio apartment in Brooklyn, so my space is limited. Before I lived in New Jersey, I had a pretty good job and had a pretty modest sized apartment. I lived there for about two years when everything changed.

Now, I own a studio, a business and I am an independent contractor. I have had a lot of change in my life this year. I was pretty overwhelmed by everything. I tried so hard to stick to a schedule that I could not master. I knew I couldn’t learn it, but I did it anyway…this was a significant failure. I put to much pressure on myself to be this great person of success. So, I thought of a way to compartmentalize my life to keep things organize and to expel the right amount of energy for each part of my life. I call them capsules, but you can call them whatever works for you.

One capsule that I began to put together in 2018 was creating “a quick clean capsule” to help keep myself sane and focus. Today, I am going to share some tips and hacks I learned to keep my tidiness in check.

First, let me say I am not a clean person. I love clutter. I feel that my creativity comes out when I study the little mess in my corner. However, I do not live by myself, and it started to become a problem because I had almost no time to clean. The tiny little clutter space that I cherish quickly became unorganized and in multiple areas. Before I knew it, I was overwhelmed and didn’t want to deal with it.

So, for 2019, I thought why not share these little hacks that have helped this messy person stay a little bit organized and tidy in the home. They generally help keep my life with a little less stress. Hopefully, you will find them useful and can start to use them in your daily routine.

Quick Ways to Stay Tidy

1. Taking Off Your Shoes
This hack has been in my life for quite some time, but I find it very important. Not only does it help to keep your floors a little cleaner but you are not attracting dirt and diseases from the outside.

A study led by researchers at the University of Houston has shown that 26.4% of shoes carry Clostridium difficile, while a 2015 study claimed that 40% of shoes carry Listeria monocytogenes, these are two things you do not want in your house or on your child’s hands. It’s best to keep the shoes in an area that doesn’t affect your home.

2. Clean As You Go – The One Minute Rule
Clean as you go when you are doing things around your home. It really can be applied to many things. For example, you are in the kitchen, and you’re cooking. You’ve got a bunch of ingredients and dishes out on your kitchen table. As you use the ingredients and dishes, try to put them away when you are finished using them. You may cut down your cleaning time and have more time to enjoy your meal.

Usually, when you are doing things as you go, it takes about a minute to a couple of minutes to get them done. An example if this is picking up a pile of paper to recycle when it’s been sitting there for a while. It doesn’t take much effort to move it to the bin. Mostly if a task takes you a minute or less then do it.

Doing these small tasks can help set the tone for the day. I find that it helps create a clean, organized environment. I am not thinking about it anymore, because it’s done. I find it frees up a whole bunch of mental space.

3. Have A Spot For Everything
To have a spot for everything means having a proper space to hold your items, whether its a basket, drawer or even a glass container. For me, this is a great way to keep my area tidy and organized. It also allows me to know where things are because I always keep them there.

For example, I always keep my dog supplies in the same specific drawer so that I never forget where the item is when I need it.

4.You Bring In an Item / You Take an Item Out
This tip means what it states, if you buy an item, you have to discard an item. I use this to be mindful of what I buy, which in turn helps me financially. If I don’t have an item in my home that I am willing to part with, then maybe I can wait or not get it.

It is also useful to practice because you become aware of what you are bringing into your space. You consciously know which things you can then get rid of or donate or sell or whatever it may be to make sure that you are not accumulating more things.

5. Setup a Cleaning Schedule
Have a specified cleaning day of the week. A schedule can vary by the person so you may want to clean your home once a week or you may choose to have a scheduled time or day to clean each room. It’s what fits your schedule.

Having a particular day where you know that it is your tidying day can help to keep you organized and on track. One thing I like to do during a tidy day is setting a timer. If I give myself 10 minutes to wash the floors, it gives me the incentivization to keep going. It pushes me to clean because I have a specific time and I know that I am not going to be doing
this for the next few hours.

6. Assess Your Stuff and Start a Donation Bag
Before you start to donate you need to assess your belongings and this often applies to anything. Regularly evaluating the things that you have by going through your living area once a week or once a month and seeing what you can throw out or donate.

If you have a donation bag or bin handy, it helps to keep you mindful of the stuff you assessed but also the things you may notice while you are going about your day. You may put on a pair of jeans that you don’t like anymore or a book you are finished reading. I find that if I don’t have a bag handy that I’m much more likely to shove it back in my closet or not deal with it.

Having a place to discard your items will encourage you to recycle rather than throwing it away or keeping it. What I like to do is schedule a day to drop everything off at GoodWill or maybe try to sell it. Either way, I am making use of the item until it is out of my hands and into someone else’s hands who can appreciate it.

7. Unsubscribe to Unwanted Emails
In my last blog, I wrote about cleaning out your inbox. I find this important to me because I get a lot of emails and most of it I don’t read or even care about the company or topic.

I am bombarded with emails all the time. In 2018 I start the habit to delete them or unsubscribe to emails that I don’t read. If there is an email that I want to get to I will keep it for a week and if I have not addressed it and seems not essential, in the trash can it goes. It does feel so good not to be overwhelmed by a messy inbox. I have nine email addresses, so this particular trick was a massive help in 2018.

It will take time to clean, especially if you have thousands of emails but take your time. You may find that it is such a relief to be organized and coherent to what your email account holds. Finally, it isn’t just freeing your mind but your electronic memory. Emails take up a lot of space on your computer or phone. You will be surprised at how much memory is recovered by deleting those emails.

So, these are the tips I learned in 2018. I hope they are helpful to you in 2019. I am still working on my tidy organizational skills, but I am a lot better than I was a year ago. I hope that you learned a thing or two.

If you currently follow any of these types of tips or if there are any of these tips that you want to implement in 2019, please share your comment. I would love to know what you do to help keep your space clean and tidy.

Some more article that may help you with your tidying journey:
Is it Healthier to Remove Your Shoes at Home? https://www.wsj.com/articles/is-it-healthier-to-remove-your-shoes-at-home-1491649200

10 Creative Ways to Declutter Your Home
https://www.becomingminimalist.com/creative-ways-to-declutter/

25 Housecleaning Tips to Keep Your Home in Tip-Top Shape Year-Round https://www.mydomaine.com/house-cleaning-schedule/slide6

#howto #tidyup #organizationaltip #cleaninghacks #cleaninnngtip #LIFEHACKS

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Inbox Detox for 2019: Ways to Clean it Out Your Emails

At the start of 2018, I had over 12,000 emails in my inbox. Most of the time, my inbox felt start crowded, and disorganized. For someone who likes to have an organization, this is a counter-productive and hypercritical way to life. It also gave me anxiety because I started to feel that I would miss an email if I deleted anything in the inbox. It really reduced my productivity.

According to a survey by Adobe Systems Inc., every day, workers spend 6.3 hours checking their emails. One-third of these workers admitted to receiving 100 emails daily, while one in ten said they receive up to 200 emails daily. 44% of these workers bother about missing a crucial email.

Of course, a cluttered inbox is not the fault of the individual, because these emails seem to troop in by the minute. As you step into 2019, here are a few ways of improving your productivity (as well as your sanity) by decluttering your inbox. Below are some ideas that I help to declutter and reduce my digital fingerprint in my inbox.

Be mindful of what you subscribe to:
Before doing anything else, the primary measure you would want to take is to try to prevent the sheer number of emails you get daily by minding what you subscribe to. Many sites lure you to subscribe on different occasions. For example, websites require that you input your email before downloading a free item, such as a free e-book or app.
These sites immediately add you to mailing lists and bombard you with newsletters and various offers. Not only that, they share your email with partner brands/sites, who would also send you unwanted emails. In 2019, to declutter your inbox, you must be picky on what you subscribe to, to declutter your inbox.

Unsubscribe. Unsubscribe. Unsubscribe:
Similar to the first point, whenever you come across a sender who either spams your inbox or sends emails you do not need, instead of merely deleting their email, unsubscribe from their emailing list as well. Ideally, you should unsubscribe from 90% of all these lists.
It takes a few extra seconds to unsubscribe, but those would be seconds well spent. However, you can use a service like Swizzle, which enables you to unsubscribe from multiple lists simultaneously.

Set up Priority Inbox:
Priority inbox boosts your productivity by placing new emails in two locations on your inbox – important and unimportant. Priority Inbox sorts the emails automatically, based on the sender and/or subject line.

With Priority Inbox set up, when you get to work in the morning, you will not be greeted by hundreds of received emails; instead, you will see around 15 essential emails that need your urgent attention. The unimportant promotional emails, newsletters, and so forth will be categorized as ‘unimportant.’

Create Inbox filters:
You can set up filters with many email clients. Filters have multiple essential uses – they allow you to label emails, move emails between folders quickly, delete emails, and lots more. With the aid of email filters, you can push certain emails to specific folders as they arrive. You may check these folders at intervals. Be sure to unsubscribe from irrelevant senders also (see step 2).

Trying Using Boomerang:
Boomerang is a Chrome and Firefox free plugin that improves your efficiency and productivity by giving you superpowers over your inbox. It lets you carry out tasks like scheduling future sending of emails, configuring the movement of emails between folders at specific times (for instance, moving your flight itinerary from a particular folder to your primary inbox, 30 minutes before your departure time), and many more.

We tend to leave emails in our inboxes to remind ourselves of important stuff. This contributes to the cluttering of the inbox. Use Boomerang to clear out your inbox and bring back your emails whenever you need them.

Opt out of receiving social media notifications:
Notifications from Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc., contribute roughly 25% of the daily emails most people receive. Just like the unsubscribing measure to take to declutter your inbox, you should take out time to opt out of receiving these social media notifications. You would probably check out your social media anyways, so you don’t need to get the same notifications on your inbox. For instance, Facebook notifies you of virtually everything; from comments and friend requests, to even posts by specific people. This would considerably declutter your inbox.

Make use of your calendar: Interestingly, some of the unwanted emails cluttering your inbox are not from external senders but from you. Most people like to store essential tasks on their email. While this might be useful, saving them to the ‘notes’ section of your calendar is far more productive and convenient. Further, if you keep them on your email, they will contribute to the unwanted items there whenever you are done with the task.

Improving your productivity in the new year takes a lot, but seemingly unnoticeable changes such as an organized and uncluttered inbox goes a long way. Implement the above necessary measures to tune-up your inbox, and ultimately your productivity in 2019.

References & More Tips can be found here:
Tips for Taming Your Inbox: http://listhubnews.com/tips-for-taming-your-inbox-2/

DR 133: Inbox Zero–A Simple Strategy to Conquer Your E-mail http://www.doughroller.net/tech/inbox-zero-a-simple-strategy-to-conquer-your-e-mail/

#howto #declutter #inbox #emaildeclutter #tips #hacks #2019

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2019 – Ways to Make a Better Resolution

I am always trying to be hopeful when it comes to each new year. I strive for it to be better than the last. When you’re dealing with anxiety and depression, sometimes this can be clouded.

I don’t really believe in New Year’s resolutions, rather I think of the moment, and I ask myself this question: Did I actually make any dents positively in my life? I just don’t think of a New Year’s resolution as a one time deal, but rather an all-time agreement because I strive for improvement. 

It is essential for someone with any type of mental illness to have some kind of structure in their life. The goal should always involve trying to function at the highest capacity while remaining as independent as possible. Unfortunately, this may not be a straightforward task for some who are in the grasp of their illness. I like to think you have to start somewhere no matter where you are in your journey in life.

From my experience, small steps will lead to a bigger and better outcome in my life. I am not dwelling on the specifics of the larger goal but what steps I need to do to get to that place. Dealing with goals in this manner helps me make decisions on whether or not my actions are getting me to the target.

Here are some questions that I ask myself: What is it that I want to accomplish this day, this week, this month, this year? What can I do better? What didn’t work? Why? How can I improve it? What are some victories? Do I need to talk to someone because I feel stuck?

To prompt me to think about my life, I like to think first about what I can control, for example, my emotions. Though sometimes my anxiety can totally cloud my judgment and my trust in people can attract people with toxic personalities, there is a moment that I can recognize this behavior. To have an awareness of my emotional reaction to a scenario or person has taken a lot of work for me to be at this place, as I totally did not have the awareness when I started the journey into adulthood.

One of the most significant factors in this clouded haze was my need to stay with my routine. I needed the structure no matter the cost. I was very rigid. No one likes change, but we have to accept it, and it’s the way we move forward. With this reflection and stopping my need for a strict schedule to get through life, I started to open up to possibilities of new and better things happening for me.

I am totally not perfect and fall into the traps that I set up for myself. However, I become aware of this problem by simply making it my routine to be open and asking myself honest questions of what worked and didn’t work. Sometimes, I will not have the answer right away, but it does come to me. When that realization does make itself known, it does change my views and therefore my behavior. We don’t have to feel stuck since we can drive the direction we want to go in. It just takes some work.

When we let negative thoughts override the way we look at the world, it can be very frustrating. Sometimes all the professional help and medication that are available cannot help us unless we are willing to help ourselves. I genuinely believe this statement. I try to practice this belief in my daily routine. If I want to have a different perception of life, I need to change the way I think. We all have the capability of doing it.

There are going to be good days and bad days that is just inevitable. However, I have the habit of planning each day with a general question or intention, like “What do I need to do to have a good day? I intend to have a good day, no matter what barriers (of x,y,z). I am going to get through them with a positive attitude and strive to understand what did and didn’t work.”

So, with all of this written out, the point of the yearly resolutions isn’t to have a one-time annual quest. To have a goal doesn’t sound like a wrong way to start off January 1, 2019, it is just the matter of making for a plan behind it to keep yourself accountable and flexible to change throughout the year. This article is just a suggestion on what works for me, but you’ll find coping methods that work best for you if you genuinely want to change.

CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) has helped me tremendously to get to this place of concentrating on one item at a time. This has made a considerable difference in my self-confidence. My anxiety and depression seem to be less episodic than in the past. I learned that my goals should be realistic to me and my lifestyle. Setting up goals that fit me rather than what society expects, does allow me to have the freedom to change.

Whatever your plans are for 2019, I hope it is a healthy and honest intention. You deserve it! You have already worked hard to get where you are today.

#cbt #2019 #NewYearsResolutions #MentalIllness #Howto

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What Type of Parent Are You?

Diana Baumrind, a developmental psychologist, noticed in 1967 that parents have basic constructs to raising their children. She saw a pattern within these parenting styles that can directly affect the outcome of the child’s development. Today, we call these the Baumrind parenting styles.

Each child we have are unique. They are different in everything. As a parent, raising each individual child is different. Parents have to be very flexible and able to adapt accordingly to each child and different ages. Although many everyone has their own distinct styles of parenting, there are four main types of parenting.

These four styles are:
Authoritative
Authoritarian
Permissive
Uninvolved

Authoritative parents are reactive to the child’s emotional needs while expecting a high standard or outcome for their child. These type of parents set limits and are very consistent in enforcing boundaries. Authoritative parenting tends to be found in the middle of the level and is said to be a balanced parenting style. Children have a tendency to be more confident and have empathy for others. They also have better self-control.

Authoritarian and authoritative parenting styles may have similar names, but there are differences in how these type of parents raise there child. While both parental methods demand high standards for their children, authoritarian parents will demand blind obedience without being the child much of a reason for their action. These type parents are stern in discipline and often use some kind of punishment to control children’s behavior. Authoritarian parents tend to be less nurturing than authoritative parents as they have the tendency to be unresponsive to their children’s needs. Children have the tendency to lack self-esteem and insecure. They may also some behavior problems.

Permissive parenting style tends to be low in structure and high in reactivity. Permissive parents set very little rules and boundaries. These type of parents are reluctant to enforce rules. These parents are very warm and lenient, as they do not like to disappoint their children. Although it is great to want to make your children happy, there are points in development where the child may possess egocentric tendencies and lack self-control.

Uninvolved parents are low demandingness and low responsiveness. These type of parents do not set firm boundaries or very high standards without indifferent to their child’s needs and are not really involved in their child’s loves. This group of parenting may unwittingly know that they are uninvolved as some in this group suffer mental issues that inhibit them from being involved in parenting properly. Children from this group may experience issues such as feelings of rejection, lack of self-esteem, and problems with trusting others and in the long run, children may be harmed emotionally.

So, which style?

In many longitude studies, researchers found that authoritative parenting is consistently linked to the best results for children. With these studies, it is assumed that the authoritative parenting style is considered the best and most effective parenting style by psychologists and psychiatrists.

This classification of parenting styles has been studied for over 25 years in different countries. Results are generally found in each parenting style.

However, studies are not 100%. There could be factors that make other types of style much more effective. It also depends on each childn’s temperament, personality and culture too. It’s the classic nature verse nurture debate.

So, what do we do with this information? The most critical part of parenting is trying to keep our kid in a safe environment. Its impact on a child is vital.

What parenting tips can you give to help raise a healthy and happy child? Please leave your comments below.

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The Meaning of Christmas to Your Dog

Do dogs understand the holidays?

It dереndѕ оn whаt уоur definition of the mеаning оf Chriѕtmаѕ. Dоgѕ, оf соurѕе, аrе not religious ѕо thеу dоn’t understand thе еlаbоrаtе concept bеhind rеligiоuѕ hоlidауѕ.

Thеrе iѕ аnоthеr lеvеl аt whiсh thеу аrе very аdерt аt undеrѕtаnding аnd thiѕ tуре оf undеrѕtаnding is muсh dеереr thаn any humаnѕ.

They ѕmеll thе рinе trees, brоught intо the hоuѕе; nоw how interesting iѕ thаt? Sоmе of pups will try tо mark thе trее, of соurѕе, ѕо thеir humаnѕ mау hаvе tо tаkе ѕtерѕ tо ѕtор thаt bеhаviоr оr find barriers tо kеер it from hарреning аt аll. Whеn оur dоgѕ gо оut, trееѕ аrе оnе оf thеir frее zоnеѕ ѕо when one is brought into thе hоmе, it iѕ a саuѕе оf grеаt excitement.

“OMG! I can pee in the house!!!”

Bright, glittering lightѕ attract dоgѕ – еѕресiаllу if thеу blink. All оf a ѕuddеn, to the dоg, not only iѕ thеrе a trее in the hоuѕе – it iѕ all lit uр with bright lights аnd glitter. Balls hаng from the trees and dоg оwnеrѕ usually end up rерlасing аnу glаѕѕ bаllѕ with unbrеаkаblе оnеѕ. Dоgѕ likе tо ѕwiре at hаnging items (mауbе nоt as muсh аѕ cats but ѕtill whаt a tеmрtаtiоn).

“I love my new toys! I can attack them all day! Maybe my parent wants to play?”

Some dоgѕ lоvе it whеn we hаng candy саnеѕ. Thеу likе the сrinklе оf thе wrаррing (а ѕоund they аѕѕосiаtе with trеаtѕ likе hot dogs аnd сhееѕе). However, mоrе than thаt, thеу love the саndу саnеѕ thеmѕеlvеѕ. We рut thе canes uр high ѕо thе dоgѕ couldn’t gеt them. They, of соurѕе, have learned tо lоvе thе сrinklе оf thаt noise еvеn more.

“THERE ARE HOTDOGS ON THAT TREE!”

Everyone gеtѕ excited around the hоlidау ѕеаѕоn; thiѕ is a time оf сеlеbrаtiоn, and our spirits are high. Our dоgѕ lоvе it when we аrе hарру. Suddenly mom аnd dad аrе humming; thеrе is a ѕеnѕе of secrecy аnd excitement in the air. Dоgѕ pick uр оn оur еmоtiоnѕ аnd our hаррinеѕѕ inсrеаѕеѕ thеirѕ.

“They are smiling! They are playing…they are playing with me! Yippee!”

Bеfоrе long, расkаgеѕ with interesting smelling ѕtuff in mоrе сrасkling paper оf different tуреѕ ѕtаrt ѕtасking up under thе tree. There may be a point that you need to рut a bаbу gаtе оr ѕоmеthing around thе tree. Yоur dоg will never understand why things thаt hе iѕ uѕuаllу аllоwеd tо tаkе аn intеrеѕt in (maybe еvеn encouraged tо сhесk оut) are ѕuddеnlу оff limits.

“Those boxes have meat, and I know I can play with them. They are laying there just for me!”

If your dog is particularly curious, you mау еvеn have to get a small tree аnd рut it оn a tаblе. Thе critical thing is to find ways you саn еnjоу Chriѕtmаѕ аnd ѕhаrе it with уоur dоg.

Aѕ if all thiѕ aren’t enough to drive your pup crazy, ѕооn there are еntiсing оdоrѕ in the hоmе thе dоg iѕ drooling uncontrollably. The dоg knоwѕ thiѕ mеаnѕ trеаtѕ in thе fоrm оf lеftоvеrѕ ѕо now thеу аrе еvеn more еxсitеd.

“MMM, FOOD!”

Guests ѕtаrt coming and gоing; thеѕе are реорlе thе dog knоwѕ and ѕоmеtimеѕ lоvеѕ. Thеrе’ѕ a tree in thе hоuѕе, bright lightѕ, сrinkling paper, jingling оrnаmеntѕ, humming fаmilу members, ѕоngѕ оf mеrrimеnt, gооd-ѕmеlling fооd аnd people. Your dog loves all of these things!

“Wanna Play? Wanna Play? Wanna Play? Let’s Eat!”

The funny thing is that dоgѕ knоw whаt Christmas iѕ аll аbоut. It’ѕ a timе of сеlеbrаtiоn, a time tо rеmеmbеr tо еxtеnd It is a timе оf grеаt hаррinеѕѕ. It’s a timе оf fаith аnd a timе that represents hope аnd hаррinеѕѕ, ѕаfеtу, and trаnquilitу.

They did all of this to be happy? We should do this all year round!”

Your dog lоvеs thоѕе аrоund them and is happy that your mood is lifted too. It’ѕ a timе tо lоvе, to еnjоу every mоmеnt of life, аnd to bеliеvе.

“Merry Christmas! I love you!”

#christmaspet#holidaydog#dog#pet#Christmas#dogthoughts

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Holiday Blues or Mistreated Illness? It’s never too late to get help.

Holidays have always been important in my family, especially Christmas. It was the one time of year that everyone around me just seemed to be in a better mood, and though there were little pieces of mood shifts, my anxiety and depression were always more at ease during this time. I love my family. I love the peace that that holidays brought to my family.

However, as I got older and my family got smaller because of death, disconnects or busy schedules and as I result, my mood became lower, and soon, I was not involved in any holiday festivities. I saw no point in celebrating when no one seemed to be into it. I certainly wasn’t.

My spirit died. 

I felt more stressed around the holidays, and instead of looking forward to them, I would anticipate the end of the season. I just wanted to go away and wait it out, be alone in isolation. I put my feelings on others because I couldn’t deal with myself. There was a point in my life that I wanted to divorce myself and not exist.

Deep down, I knew this wasn’t me. I knew I still loved the holidays, but I abstained from celebrating. I couldn’t let myself enjoy the holidays if other people were not happy. I even have my brothers and sisters that celebrate the holidays every year. I could have easily been with them. I just convinced myself that I did not need them and they did not require me to be there. Plus, at some point, during the years, I would have put a damper on to their celebration. I was incomplete with a void that could never be filled. How could a problem like this even be fixed?

I tied for years to “fixed” the problem on my own, but I only made it worse. The best advise I gave myself was to hide away until it was all over. This action was not making me happy. It was making me unstable. I was dying.

So, how did I get out of this dark hidden place?

The answer: I told someone. At first, I got the classic, “well that is silly” and felt invalidated. My mind was too sad to see any humor in their jokes or words of encouragement. I had a real problem going on in my head that didn’t make much sense to why it was an issue. I just wanted to it to go away before I took myself away from the problem a/k/a die.

Determined and finally acknowledging that I could not solve this problem myself, I opened up to others…anyone at one point. I finally found someone who gave me some kind of direction and that direction was to a therapist.

So, I went to therapy. Although, I realized that even with the acknowledgment of my problems, I would need to do my part to make things better. I could either choose to be miserable or start enjoying the simple things. I had to make peace with the guilt I felt for vanishing for so many years. I began to follow CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy), and I was put on anti-anxiety medications.

WIth opening up to my family (how awkward as it felt), following through with therapy, and understanding why I am anxious or get very depressed, I starting to see sparkles of light. I was not ready for the holidays during my first year of therapy, but I made sure to text everyone. Then I got the courage to call a few years later, and now I am finally starting to show up to actual holiday celebrations.

I count my blessings as I remember past memories, old traditions , and now the continuation of developing new positive moments. As I write this, I am listening to Christmas music that gets into my soul, which for the longest time I felt was dead. I started moving forward that year that I asked for help. It was those simple things I thought were lost that began to resurface. I had to acknowledge the new meaning, and I was fortunate enough to realize it before the darkness entirely consumed me. I thank my friend for starting this new chapter.

I will still get depressed, and I know I will get anxious for no reason except that my brain is inclined to do so…but I can manage it. I have my plans to get me through the storms.

Just like the saying goes, sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. For me, turning the negative thoughts into positive or matter of fact type thoughts (thank you CBT) proved to be successful. Now, I can appreciate the holiday season.

I know this is short and there is a lot of backstories to why I am this way, but the point of this short piece is to start somewhere and to not give up. You are your life, and your life is significant, even if it does not feel that way. It is…someone one out there is looking to you. It could be a neighbor, your family, the postman or even yourself. The vital first step is to realize that you have a problem and to express it before it gets any worse. There are many reasons why so many people get depressed or even worse commit suicide. It doesn’t have to be this way.

Here are some numbers if you are in a place that you need help but have nowhere to go:

If you’re struggling, take the time you need today for self-care and reach out to someone you trust. If you know someone who is struggling, reach out to them, get help. I am glad that I did. I would not be where I am today if I didn’t reach out for help.

Thank you.

#holidaydepression #suicide #gethelp #anxiety #depression #holidayblue #mentalillness

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Wow! A new pet! Now What?

Here are some of the pieces of training that you might want to undertake with a new addition to the family.

When you receive (or purchase/adopt) a new pet for your family, you might be taken aback on the sudden addition to the family and hence be caught unaware of the things that you will need to do.

Take for example when my cousin received a 5 week old Shih Tzu with a playful personality. She didn’t know about the dog’s needs as well as its playfulness. She was caught unaware when she (the puppy) started to growl and jump onto strangers when she brought her for a walk. The puppy would merely lay on the floor without wanting to move, and my cousin was perplexed! If she had sufficient preparation, that wouldn’t have happened.

I thought I would write a little article on tips to help prepare you to not to be caught off guard. Below are some of the tips and tricks that you would need to know.

Understanding your pet:

It will be vital for you to understand the dog’s breed as well as its personality. You wouldn’t want to be caught in a situation at which the dog does not require exercise, but you always bring them out for long runs!

Getting to know your pet:

Of course, you would need to prepare your pet so that they will be able to fit well into your family. Your puppy will have its own temperament, but researching for an hour or so will help get you at least familiar on how to deal with the situation. Here are some of the pieces of training that you might want to undertake with a new addition to the family.

Housebreaking, potty training, socializing will be important in allowing your pet, as well as your family, to have an excellent living environment. While going through your new lifestyle adjustment phase, it also helps with communication and bonding.

For housebreaking, I don’t mean breaking the house for the pet. Preferably, it is a process at which you should take to let your pet understand the rules and regulations that they will need to follow. This will ensure that your pet does not destroy the furniture around the house as well as not shredding any paper along the way too.

When it comes to having a new pet in the family, potty training will be one of the most important tasks too. While not so important for cats, since cats are known to love cleanliness, it will be important for new dog owners to note that potty training will be essential for your dog. This is unless you would want your dog to poop and pee all around the house. While it may take time to train the new dog properly, it will be extremely beneficial to you in the long run.

Two things I would immediately do if I were to get a new dog or cat is to let them know where it is safe to use the bathroom and when they are safe to hang out while we get to know each other.

For cats, immediately show them the little box. Cats are very good at understanding that this is their place to do their duties. I would also allow them to hide if they need too, but I would confine them to one room with a baby gate (try to use the room with the litter box). When they are ready, they will jump out. If they allow you to hold them, please cuddle and hug them as much as possible. Cats can quickly forget that affection is excellent! However, don’t overwhelm them, if they are not ready for cuddles or to interact, just make sure you are close by and talking to them even if they don’t respond right away. Eventually, they will understand you mean them to no harm and your place is safe. Then the cuddle fest will begin, particularly when they start to get hungry.

For dogs, this can be a little more complicated when housebreaking them. It really depends on the age of your dog. If you have a puppy, I will make sure they are in one room and have weewee pads handy. When they do go on the weewee pad, reward them! If they don’t just clean it up and ignore them. They will start to understand (a matter of weeks) the weewee pads are good.  Eventually, you can bring them outside. Keep track of their duties on a timeline so you will know when to take them out when they are ready.

If you got an older dog or puppy and they can go outside because they are vaccinated, I would start with taking them out every two to three hours until you know their schedule. Yes, it’s just like taking care of an infant, so it is a perfect moment to teach your children about what you went through and the responsibility of puppies. Older dogs will most likely give you cue of their bathroom needs, pay attention to how they look at you because they are trying to communicate with you.

It’s important to love your puppy and start training them right away. It sounds silly, but training helps the communication between you and your dog. The dog wants to please you, so use it to create the bond. Of course, never forget to play and cuddle with your new dog! However, let them come to you. If you force yourself on a dog, they might react. If your dog never comes to you, let it sniff your hand. It’s in nature to protect themselves in an unknown environment and with strangers.

It shouldn’t take very long to know your dog’s temperament, but please make sure you are around when your children play with the dog. Some kids may not know when exactly to stop playing.

The same goes for your new cat. Kids may not understand that your cat will need some space and you are the adult will need to know when they stop the interaction. With adult cats, allow your kids to talk to him while he is hiding, would enable them to learn patience and have some bonding them. The cat will start to understand that these strange voices mean them no harm.

Conclusion:

Having a new addition to the family can really be a nightmare, or it can be a fantastic event. It all boils down to your level of preparation as well as how well both your and your pet adapts to a new lifestyle. Last but not least, while changes will be needed, you will need to be mindful of not overdoing things and getting overwhelmed. Things will not be perfect for a while. So, do your research on what works best for you and your new pet and have fun! #

#newpet #adoptapet #dogtraining #cattraining

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Crap! I forgot to check my Facebook Page!

Well, hello!

If you are like me, you have multiple accounts on several various sites, and it gets overwhelming, neglectful and forgetful sometimes? I am willing to guess that it gets so overwhelming you sometimes wish there is a way you can manage all your accounts at once and from one place.

Well, there is.

You see, I am just like you, I have several social media accounts and websites that I didn’t know where to begin and how to go about managing all of them. This resulted in me working below efficiency and being a trifle incompetent. One day I got tired of it all and decided to do what exactly it is you are doing right now: research. In the course of this, I found out that there are several tools out there that can help you manage your online presence seamlessly from one page. I dug further and found out that apart from managing my posts, these online tools can also assist me in achieving my online interactions and engagements as well as analyze my presence.

This was a little daunting at first but when I got the hang of it, things progressed smoothly, and they have been going on well ever since. The online management tools I use involve managing an entire array and spectrum of accounts from one dashboard. Imagine how productive I am now. You can also leverage on this online management tools to not only build and manage your company’s online presence but also to efficiently operate and maintain your personal brand online.

The two mentioned below have free options if you wanted to try it out to see if it works for you, so go for it!

Buffer: buffer is another online tool that you can use to manage your online presence. You can use this site to schedule posts for whichever time you wish and never worry about meeting up with time constraints again. This site has an interface that is amazing in its simplicity. It also affords the opportunity to share links in a very flexible manner.

IFTTT: this site is super productive and effective. While setting it up might be quite daunting and time-consuming, it is pretty downhill once that is done with.

There are also quite many online tools that you can use to monitor the world wide web and find out who and where they are talking about you. This allows you to control how your brand is perceived, engage your customers and efficiently be on hand to provide assistance and enlightenment to those who require it. It just takes some time and research to find one that works for you.

Hopefully, after reading through this, you are better able to manage your online presence and stay sane enough to give your time, energy and attention to other important things. If you have your own tools and suggestions, just let me know. I am always open to learning more.